


Echoes Of You

by teaforlevi (midoh)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Fluff, Angsty Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager Are Best Friends, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Character's Name Spelled as Jaeger, Cheeky Eren Yeager, Embarrassed Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eren and Levi have piercings, Eren plays instruments and sings, Female Hange Zoë, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Being An Asshole, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is Bad At Feelings, Levi is in a band, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, POV Third Person, Sad Eren Yeager, Teenage Eren Yeager, Teenage Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-02-04 18:11:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18609823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midoh/pseuds/teaforlevi
Summary: Social recluse Levi Ackerman meets Eren Jaeger, a tall teenager with piercings, beautiful eyes, and a blunt personality. They don't get along at first, yet finding out that unfortunately, Eren will live under the same roof as Levi, the raven-haired-teen finds himself in a predicament, and that is keeping himself in check from spilling his heart out to a tall brunet who plays sad songs in the middle of the night.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, teaforlevi here! I wanted to say that the story title is from a song called 'Echoes Of You' by Oneke which you can find on Spotify. Anyway, it took me about a week and a half to write the first chapter. I genuinely hope that I can complete this story. I have chapter two started, so let's see how this goes. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated! :)

As soon as the bell rang, Levi waited until every student left to pick up his school supplies and put them away in his bag. He pulled up the now full book bag and slung it over his shoulder, stepping to the side to look over and under the desk to make sure he wasn’t leaving any textbooks behind. Seeing that he had everything, Levi shifted to the side where a big square-sized window showed the back of the school where the football team was getting ready for their afternoon warmups. 

Blue eyes glanced towards the bleachers where his small group of friends sat and grimaced, tilting his head down to his pants when he felt his phone vibrate against the side of his thigh. A pale hand with black fingernails stretched down to grasp the slim device and bring it up to his face. There was a text message from his mother. 

Mom 2:45 PM

_Levi, we’re waiting for you downstairs, love._  

Levi reread the message, furrowing his eyebrows in wonder. Who was the other person waiting for him? Maybe it was Hanji coming to bother him or one of the professors? Who the hell cared, Levi thought as he pocketed his phone and made his way through the rows of blue desks and out of the door. Noting that the halls were still a little congested, Levi stuck his hands in his pockets and wandered through the hallway towards the staircase, avoiding brushing shoulders with the teenagers standing in his way. 

Eventually, he made his way to the first floor and passed by the lunchroom and heard shouting coming from the inside. He heard clothes rustling and shoes squeaking on the floor. Levi knew then that another fight had broken out, and he knew who’s fighting and who’s yelling by their voices, but it was not severe enough that Levi had to come in and intervene. 

Levi shuffled on by and soon arrived at the doors that lead to the front of the school. There he saw groups of friends conversing and giggling, but the sight of his mother in a beige jacket worn over a light blue blouse with a flowery scarf tied around her neck, fitted jeans, and a pair of boots fussing over a brunet-haired boy didn’t sit well with Levi. Blue eyes narrowed as Levi neared his mother and the kid. 

Levi made his presence known by tapping his mother’s arm. 

Levi’s mother spun around with a smile, tugging the teenager beside her to face her son. “Levi! Oh, I want to introduce you to Eren Jaeger. He’ll be staying with us from now on.” 

Levi eyed the teenager standing beside his mother with an annoyed look and scowled almost immediately. “I didn’t know you started a habit of picking up strays from the street.”

Kuchel gasped in surprise, cold gray eyes glaring at her son. “Levi! How rude of you to say that to Eren! Apologize for this instant and introduce yourself correctly, young man.”

Eren, the green-eyed brat, gazed at Levi with a look that held a sort of emotion that Levi couldn't name. The boy hadn’t talked yet, but he didn’t need to because Levi knew what that boy was saying to him. Clearly, with tan hands clenched into fists, Levi was sure that if his mother weren’t standing in between them, then they would have fought each other. 

For obvious reasons, Levi wasn't going to bother introducing himself, at least not yet. “I don’t see a good enough reason for me to introduce myself to this brat, mother.” 

Kuchel released Eren’s hand for a moment to step forward and grab onto Levi’s forearm to tug her son close to her. “Levi Ackerman, if you know what’s good for you, then you will listen to me. I don’t want to hear another excuse coming from that mouth of yours. If you want to keep hanging out with your friends after school and during the weekends, then you will listen to me, or I will punish you. Now, say hi to Eren.” 

Eren stood behind Kuchel wearing a Blessthefall band sweatshirt, skinny blue jeans, and a pair of Vans; he had small gauges in both of his ears and a lip piercing. He moved forward with eyes set ablaze, anger surrounding him. Eren looked at Levi like he had never seen another male in his life. _Wow_ , was all he could think. For a tiny asshole, Levi was attractive; and to believe that Eren had to live with this specimen for who knew how long. It wasn’t fair, and yet with one look from Levi, Eren already knew that the raven disliked him. They hadn’t even talked, and Levi now hated him. 

“Tch,” Levi glowered, brushing his mother’s hand away to approach Eren. “Name’s Levi. Don’t get in my way, and we won’t have a problem.”

“Levi!” Kuchel hissed, watching as her son stepped away and made his way to the car. She turned to Eren to see if the boy was all right, but she found the brunet lost in his thoughts. “Oh, Eren. Please forgive Levi. Once you get to know him, you’ll see that he’s a softie. He only acts tough to scare off people. He’s a sweetheart, so please give him a chance.”

“It’s fine, Mrs. Ackerman. It's okay if I get treated coldly. I won’t hold it against him,” he replied, trailing behind the woman to head towards the car. He got in the back seat, choosing to sit behind Levi because Eren knew it wouldn't be good for him to watch Levi’s side profile. 

“Oh, love. It would be best if no one treated you that way. I don’t know why my son is acting this way today. He’s not always this stoic,” Kuchel said while getting in as well, shutting the door and putting on her seatbelt. After the car turned on, she backed out of the school and drove them home. “Levi, Eren here plays the piano, violin, and cello. He also sings and plays the guitar. He’s a gifted young boy, right, Eren?”

Levi was already irritated that a snot-nosed kid was invading his home with an annoying presence. Also, now with his mother talking about Eren like he was all high and mighty, it was becoming bothersome as hell. Instead of responding, Levi remained quiet with a hand on his lap, and the other propped on the window. 

“Um, I guess, Mrs. Ackerman. I’m planning to go to Maria State University to get a degree in Music. I want to be a musician one day, but if I can’t sing to the world, then I would like to move them with my notes.” 

Levi’s mother beamed while driving. “Oh, that sounds wonderful! I give you my full support, Eren.”

Eren cleared his throat, smiling shyly. “It means a lot to me. Thank you.” 

Kuchel’s smile was radiant, while Levi’s scowl remained bitter.

The drive to the Ackerman’s residence filled with Kuchel and Eren’s chatter had Levi keeping to himself, frowning in apparent dislike at the boy sitting in the backseat. Levi didn't expect this when he saw the text his mother sent him. He thought it was one of his friends inviting themselves over like they usually did, but having some stranger live in his house for who knew how long bothered Levi. Why hadn’t his mother informed him or at least told him beforehand? 

She knew Levi didn’t like surprises, so then, why did she keep him in the dark? Moreover, where the fuck did this Eren kid even come from like where are his parents? Damn, Levi couldn't wait to get home so that he could storm off to his room and hide for the rest of the day.

“Eren, my son is in a band called _No Name_. He requires another band member, would you like to join?” Kuchel proposed while parking the car in the driveway. 

Eren didn't have to see the glare Levi was giving him because he could feel it even if those blue eyes were focused elsewhere. “Um, no thanks. I’m busy playing other music, but thank you.” 

“Oh? Like what?” Mrs. Ackerman queried as she turned off the car and unbuckled her seatbelt. 

Levi wanted to leave, knowing full well that Eren understood Levi would never allow him to join, but he also wanted to stick around to hear the reason why Eren was turning down the offer. Levi wasn't looking for any band members. He was pretty sure his mother said that so that they could get along. If Levi’s mother didn’t already know this, Levi wanted nothing to do with Eren. 

“Classical, and sometimes the songs of the bands I listen to on my phone. If I’m allowed to practice in my room, you’ll get to hear the music I like,” Eren smiled, clicking off the safety belt to open the car door and get out. As Eren was closing the door, Levi brushed past him sneering, bumping shoulders hard enough to hurt but enough to annoy Eren. He did what brats do, Eren stuck out his foot to trip Levi. Smirking, he watched the raven flail and hit the side of the car with a glare. 

“Oh my, Levi! Are you okay?” Eren asked in an overly friendly voice. 

Levi glared at Eren with eyes set to kill before brushing past his mother. Up the stairs to unlock the door to the house with his own set of keys. 

Sighing, Kuchel glimpsed at Eren for a moment, shaking her head. “I’m truly sorry about my son, Eren. Please, don’t get on his bad side, or things will be worse for you.” 

“It’s fine. I’ve seen and heard worse,” Eren shrugged, hiding his smirk behind his hand to follow behind Levi’s mother to head inside. 

» » »

Levi closed the door behind him and let his bag fall beside his closet. He groaned in exasperation before opening the drawer to take out a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Levi redressed, folding his uniform and placing it away in the hamper. Like hell, he would wear the same one tomorrow.

Levi hadn't been this upset since Hanji stepped on his bag of skittles. “Fuck my life,” Levi grumbled, choosing to sit on his bed when his mother called for him to come downstairs. Levi wanted to yell and throw himself out the window. 

He didn't make himself known until he was entering the kitchen, where Eren sat at the dining table with a plate holding a ham & cheese sandwich. That idiot tripped him on purpose, and it showed with the way Eren smirked at him as if nothing had happened, asking if he was okay afterward. Eren’s lucky that Levi’s mother was there, or he wouldn’t hesitate to beat his ass. 

“Levi, dear, are you hungry? I prepared you a sandwich as well.”

Levi was starving since he didn't eat anything during lunch, but he didn’t want to sit here with this dumbass. He knew his mother would only reprimand him, so Levi nodded his head, choosing the chair that was the furthest away from Eren and took a seat. A plate now sat in front of him, and Levi picked up the sandwich to take a bite when his mother addressed him.

"Levi, Eren has taken the room in front of yours. We both arranged his room with all of his instruments and clothes. If Eren needs anything, then he will be asking you for help if I happen not to be home. Is that clear?"

Levi glared at his sandwich. 

"Levi, is _that_ clear?" Kuchel demanded again. 

"Yes, mother." 

Kuchel smiled then, speaking once again, “Boys, I’ll be gone for the rest of the day since I have a shift at work starting in about half an hour. I want you to behave, Levi. Be kind to Eren; the poor boy has been through a lot these past months.” Kuchel stepped towards Levi to kiss him on the cheek and then walked around the table to pat Eren on the head, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. 

"Why am I being told to behave? You think he's a saint or something?" 

Levi's mother wasn't in the mood to play childish games. "You're the only one here that likes to bicker over every little thing, Levi. You will do as I say or you won't be permitted to have band practice for the rest of the week. You better think before speaking to me." 

"I only fight because you tell me things that don't make sense!"

"Levi, dear. Please tell your friends that you can't make it to band practice for the rest of the week. Have a good evening, boys."  

"But Hanji, Mike, and I have a performance next week at school!"

"Well, then you should have used that brain of yours before talking back to me, Levi," Kuchel stated before grabbing her purse and leaving the house. 

The atmosphere in the house was tense and silent as soon as the front door shut. Eren began to feel incredibly uncomfortable sitting in a house with someone that didn’t want him around. He attempted not to look Levi’s way, but he could sense those deep blue eyes glaring at him from across the table. It was bothersome and suddenly became too much for him to handle. “Got something to say?” Eren’s teal eyes met dark blue and held the intense stare. 

Levi had eaten half of his sandwich before setting it down on his plate. He leaned in to speak in a threatening voice, “Listen good, Jaeger. I wouldn't give a shit if you experienced something traumatizing. I don’t like you, so it’s best if you stayed out of my fucking way, or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Wow,” Eren laughed, leaning back to prop his hand on the table to support the side of his cheek. “Aren’t you sweet. Here I was hoping for a warm welcome into your quiet abode, but I can see that you’re anything but humble. You’re nothing but an asshole with no emotions. Typical of someone like you.” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Levi sneered, the furrow in his eyebrows deepening the more he frowned at this stupid kid. He resented that those words hurt him. Levi hated Eren. Why the hell was he going to live here? 

Eren lifted an eyebrow, blue-green eyes glinting under the light coming from the kitchen window. “Hm? Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just a shame that you’re already this hostile to someone who hasn’t done shit to you for me to get treated this way.” 

Levi scoffed, pushing his chair back to stand up. “And you think that I’m going to want to know all about your life story suddenly just because you live here now? Please, I’ve got better things to do with my time than hear what you have to say.” 

“Is that so?” Eren questioned, popping the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth and also getting up to clean his plate and put it away. “If that were correct, then why did you wait for your mother to leave so that you can speak to me?” Eren rolled his eyes. They were slightly watery from keeping up this facade with Levi. He had to pretend that Levi’s words weren’t hurting him. Eren had to act that he didn’t feel the threads of his heart coming loose once more. 

“Fuck off! It's all your fault that I'm grounded. Shit!” Levi shouted, storming out of the dining area to go back to his room, forgetting the fact that he left behind his half-eaten sandwich. He was just so angry that he couldn't be in the same place as Eren. 

“Leaving already? I thought you were tougher than that, Levi. You sure hold much anger in that small body of yours. It must be embarrassing to hide when things get too rough, huh?” Eren shook his head, smirking when the sound of Levi stomping stopped, and quick footsteps made their way back to the kitchen. 

“The hell did you just say, Jaeger?” Levi was pissed off now. He thought to himself that he would let Eren’s little stunt pass and let him live another day, but no one made fun of his height and got away with it. “You want to repeat that?” 

“You heard me the first time, didn’t you? That’s why you’re here,” Eren smiled sardonically at Levi from across the dining table. He was still holding his plate but now put it back on the dining table. 

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and then crossed his arms across his chest. “You have a fucking death wish, and I wouldn’t mind making it come true,” as Levi finished his sentence, he rushed his way towards Eren, noticing that the boy didn’t look scared at all. If anything, he seemed determined for some reason. 

Eren chuckled when Levi grabbed the collar of his band sweatshirt and slammed him against the wall. “Wow, never thought I would have my own personal Dobby. At least you don’t have elf ears,” he hummed, grinning at the fact that Levi’s face was turning red. Maybe it was a sign for Eren to stop playing with lava unless he wanted to fall into the volcano and burn to ashes. 

Eren expected the punch, but it wasn't like Levi had the chance to hit him because Eren grasped the raven’s wrist to turn their positions around and pin Levi to the wall instead. “Ah, did you think you were sneaky? Tch, how disappointing.” 

“Fuck, let me go!” Levi demanded, struggling in Eren’s stable, hold.

“Don’t talk shit about me when I’m around, Levi. Or those won’t be the only bruises you’ll have on your wrists,” Eren hissed into Levi’s ear as he let him go and moved away to grab the dishes. 

“Fuck you,” Levi huffed, his face flushed while he massaged his wrists and grimaced at the slight pain. 

“No, thanks, you’re not my type.” 

It shouldn’t bother him that Eren said that, but it did. So, why wasn’t Levi punching Eren in the face? Nothing was keeping him back from beating the shit out of that idiot. So then why couldn't Levi move? Right, it was because of those saddened eyes that he couldn't do anything about it. 

“Thanks for making me feel like shit on my first day here. I appreciate it,” Eren murmured with a smile on his lips and neutral eyes.

Levi didn't say anything. He stared at Eren for a few seconds and disappeared the way he came. Maybe Hanji and Mike would have a good explanation for what just happened. 

Eren was in the kitchen alone, with a plate filled with crumbs and a half-eaten sandwich on a dirty dish. Eren believed that the water dripping from his eyes was because he was glad Levi was gone and not because he missed his parents.

» » »

For the rest of the day, Eren spent his time in his room playing the piano. Unfortunately, Levi’s bedroom was situated right in front of his, meaning that if they left their places at the same time, then they were most likely going to run into each other. It wasn't something Eren wanted because, after everything Levi said to him downstairs, Eren didn't think he could hide the pain in his eyes. 

The keys of the piano on his black keyboard sounded distant and lonely to him because it was how Eren was feeling. He wanted nothing more than to disappear and never be found. He moved his fingers with skilled practice, closing his eyes as he played ' _La Lluvia'_ by Relajar. Eren’s fingers glided over the keys, his body moving slowly with each chord and matching note he touched. 

It started to rain outside, drizzling at best until the clouds turned darker in color, and it began to rumble and start to thunder. Eren hummed under his breath, his voice shaky with wanting to cry his eyes out. It wasn't getting any more comfortable with the thoughts racing through his mind. It was because he had memories of being a younger child jumping in large puddles of water while his parents laughed and joked along with him. It seemed so long ago when only a couple of years had passed.

Eren ended the song on the last note, reopening his eyes to find his cheeks wet with warm salt and that it was dripping down to his hands. He chuckled, glancing out of the window while drowning in thoughts of self-loathing.

» » »

In the room on the other side of the house, Levi was quietly seething while sitting on his desk chair, furiously typing away on his laptop. He was in a chatroom with Hanji and Mike, telling them about the shit that went down after school and the reason why he couldn't show up to band practice for the rest of the week. It was embarrassing to admit that to his friends because Levi didn't get grounded often. He obeyed his parent's orders at best, but the sight of Eren irritated him to the point that his heart beats too loudly in his ears, and his hands became cold. 

It wasn't those beautiful green eyes or the somber expression on Eren's face; it was just the kid in general that Levi couldn't stand to look at without wanting to strike him in the face. Levi was so used to the peace that came with an empty house, but now all he heard were the muted sounds of piano notes — drifting from underneath the door and into his ears. Levi had never listened to the song, and Levi couldn't say that it didn't sound nice, but Levi didn't think it would seem so calming and sad. He almost wanted to ask what the name of the song was, but that would look like he was interested, and Levi knew that it wasn't like that. 

Sighing and deciding to try and ignore the music, Levi busied himself with responding to his friends, planning on indulging Hanji with thoughts of how Eren looked. Maybe Levi did despise Eren, but it was because he wasn't good at dealing with new people. Especially ones that were staying over for an extended period. It was never easy for Levi to converse and make friends when he was socially inept. He didn't think this Eren kid would have enough guts to taunt him and want to pick a fight. It shouldn't make Eren this attractive, but it did, and Levi fucking hated it. 

**@blackteacups:** _Listen up, you fuckers. I'm having a mental crisis, and before any of you say anything, it's not because of Eren._

**@dinobug:** _It's because of Eren._  

**@sniffingisntweird:** _I second that._

**@blackteacups:** _What did I fucking say?_  

**@sniffingisntweird:** _You're having a mental crisis, and it's all because of Eren._

**@dinobug:** _( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) So, when do we get to meet him, lover boy?_

**@blackteacups:** _What the fuck! I am not in love with him!_  

**@dinobug:** _No one said you were, love bug! ( ◠‿◠ )_

**@sniffingisntweird:** _Looks like someone is in denial~_

**@dinobug:** _OKAY BUT WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HIM?_

**@blackteacups:** _Tomorrow? I don't fucking know. My mom hasn't told me shit._  

**@sniffingisntweird:** _Damn, is he hot?_

**@dinobug:** _GASP, IS HE?_  

**@blackteacups:** _I'm not answering that._

**@dinobug:** _That's Levi's way of saying yes. I bet you're smitten, huh, bunny?_  

**@blackteacups:** _He fucking tripped me and then asked if I was okay in a stupid as hell fake ass concerned voice. I have never wanted to punch someone so hard. Fuck, Eren._  

**@sniffingisntweird:** _He wants to fuck Eren, Hanji. An exciting development, Levi._  

**@dinobug:** _Hah! I hope Eren shows up to class tomorrow. I can't wait to meet him and ask questions. :D :D :D_

**@dinobug:** _WAIT, LEVI DIDN'T DENY THAT HE'S SMITTEN! \O/_

**@sniffingisntweird:** _Now, we're getting somewhere._  

**@blackteacups:** _I'm leaving._   

Levi closed the group chat and shut off his laptop. He sighed, raising his hand to slip it through the black strands of his hair. It was pouring outside, the sky making loud claps every time thunder ran across the darkened clouds. The piano song ended long ago while Levi was busy chatting with his friends, and now it was deathly quiet inside the house. It left Levi wondering if maybe he was too harsh on Eren.  

Levi glanced down to his wrists, noting the slightly red hue on his pale skin and then looked out of the window. In a moment of indecisiveness, Levi stood up from his chair and crossed his room to head to the door to leave. As his hand gripped the cold door handle, he paused and pondered over on what he was going to say if he went to check up on Eren. 

He couldn't say shit because to Levi it would mean admitting that he was weak but then came the other predicament that if Levi's mother found out that the both of them were angry at each other and weren’t getting along, then Levi wouldn't be able to prepare for that show next week. Damn, if only he hadn't talked back to his mom, then none of this would have happened. 

"Fuck, guess I'll have to apologize to that shitty brat." Reluctantly, Levi opened the door and stepped out into the dark hallway. Like hell was he going to switch on the lights. Levi knew that all he had to do was shuffle a few steps, and he would be standing in front of Eren's bedroom. Though, what the hell was up with the anxiety creating a twister in his stomach? As if the thunderstorm outside wasn’t enough. It shouldn't be that hard to knock on the door and apologize.  

Although, it was hard because Levi always had difficulty with admitting that he was wrong and that he was sorry. "Damn it," Levi swore under his breath when he was standing in front of Eren's bedroom. Levi could hear nothing on the other side, but Levi could see the faint yellow light from the lamp seeping from under the door. It was now, or never, Levi mused as he brought his hand up to knock on the white wooden door. 

There was no noise for a couple of seconds, and Levi tried to persuade himself that maybe the brat was napping or he was listening to music and couldn't hear the knocking. Anything to get himself out of this awkward situation, but then socks shuffled on the floor, and the door cracked open. Levi knew then that he should have stayed inside his room and dealt with his punishment and guilt. 

It bothered Levi that he had to look up to see Eren peering down at him with guarded glossy eyes. It shouldn't hurt Levi to know that expression on Eren's face was because of him. It shouldn't make Levi want to reach out and wrap his arms around Eren, rub his back, and promise; he would never do it again. However, Levi stood there silently with Eren, listening to the rainfall outside, filling in the silence hanging in between them. 

There was a dead look in Eren's eyes that made Levi gnaw on his bottom lip because he felt that it was his fault. Moreover, it wasn't Levi's fault that Eren's eyes held that look. It wasn't, but there was no way for Levi to know that. There was no way for him to tell that Eren had spent the last hour questioning his existence, wondering why he was even here, in this home with unfamiliar people.  

This silence was stifling. Levi came here with a purpose, and it was to apologize for the things he said downstairs. Maybe he didn't want to be Eren's friend, but he didn't think he would be able to sleep at night knowing that he never said sorry. Levi didn't want to lie in bed tonight, regretting this. 

Levi wasn't sure how even to begin to say that he was sorry, and it was to the point that the quietness was overwhelming that he couldn't believe that he and Eren had been staring at each other for this long without speaking. 

In the end, it was Eren that sighed and stepped back to allow Levi to come inside. It was Eren that took a seat at the edge of his bed and spoke. It was all Eren while Levi remained dumbfounded by the open door, staring. "I know you don't want me here, and I understand that, but I have nowhere else to go. You can hate me all you want, and I won't hold it against you. I won't even resent you."

Levi didn't say anything because he was busy trying not to feel guilty. He was busy trying not to let it show that he was upset with himself for being such a dick. 

"If you don't want us to talk, then that's fine with me. If you don't want to see me, then I'll leave whenever we cross paths, but in front of your mother, I don't want to fight. It may be amusing to me that you get in trouble, but I don't want to cause a disturbance between you and your family. I can't say that I'm sorry for coming into your house uninvited because it wasn't in my hands as to the reason I ended up here. So, I'll apologize because I know that you won't. That is the reason you came here, right? It's okay." Eren's smile was small and sad. 

Levi blinked a few times, swallowing audibly and moved away from the comfort of the door to stand a little ways from Eren. "No, it's not right for you to apologize on my behalf. I get it, okay? I fucked up, and I hurt your feelings. Don't try to sugarcoat any of this shit and be straight up with me. It brought you pain to what I said to you, right?"

Eren looked away this time. "Yeah," was his quiet response. 

"Then, I'm sorry for being a jerk."

"You were worse than a jerk."

"Oi, I'm fucking trying here, all right?" 

Eren ended up chuckling, shaking his head and tilting it to the side. "What your mom said to me about you is right."

The sudden change in mood left Levi feeling out of place. Where did the somber mood go? "What the hell did she say about me?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Eren smirked, "Can't say I remember."

Levi frowned and rolled his eyes. "You little shit," he said softly, turning around to leave when Eren called for him.

"I start classes tomorrow, so I wanted to let you know that your mom wants me to take the bus with you in the morning." 

"Tch if you can even get up at 6 AM."

"I have trouble sleeping at night, so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Whatever, be downstairs at 5:55, or I'm leaving your ass behind." 

Levi shut the door behind him a little louder than he intended, but he had to get out because of the look in those dull, jade eyes, and the soft voice that belonged to Eren. Levi knew that if he had lingered in there for a little while longer, then he would have realized that Eren wasn't so bad. He would have understood that maybe he and Eren could get along and even become friends. Still, even Levi knew that it was wishful thinking because Eren was better off making friends with people that didn't include someone socially awkward like Levi. 

» » »

Kuchel didn't arrive until late into the night when the streets were quiet, and people around the world were getting ready to sleep. As she stepped into her home and took off her shoes, she noticed that the kitchen light was on, and someone was rummaging through the refrigerator. She thought nothing of it and stepped through the foyer to head to the source of the noise. 

What she saw was Levi's short frame taking out a carton of Almond Milk, a bag of bread, turkey, cheese, butter, and an egg. She thought that it was odd for her son to be drinking milk at this time and making a sandwich, seeing as Levi rarely touched that carton or ate at this time. "Levi, what are you doing?"

Levi shut the fridge after grabbing a few other ingredients and turned to his mother. "I'm preparing a snack," was all he replied as he put everything down on the counter to grab a clean plate. Levi then moved towards the stove to reach over to the side to open a cabinet and take out a small charcoal-colored pan with a bright orange handle. He then placed the pot on the stove and fumbled with one of the dials. 

"But you never eat at this time. You're usually making yourself a cup of tea. What's the occasion?" She asked, placing her purse on the kitchen table to approach her son. 

"Eren is hungry, and he doesn't know how to cook, so I'm preparing something to eat. I'm not that heartless to let him starve, tch." 

Kuchel felt warmth fill the inside of her chest and smiled. "You're a sweetheart, Levi. I'm glad you're both getting along." 

Levi hummed as he washed his hands, dried them, and then began to prepare Eren's meal. The sound of butter sizzling in the pan filling the air. Along with the noise of an egg cracking against the side of the pan. "I wouldn't say we're getting along, but for your sake, I guess he isn't that bad." 

"He's been through a lot, Levi. If you were in his shoes, how would it make you feel to know that you're not wanted anywhere you go? Terrible, right?"

Snatching a piece of paper towel, Levi wiped a smudge on the counter. "I wouldn't give a sh— I mean, I wouldn't care." 

Kuchel came forward to caress the back of Levi's head and press a kiss to her son's temple. "You are a horrible liar, but I'll see you two when you get back from school. Ah, Eren told you about leaving with you, I assume?"

"He might have mentioned it." 

"Well, in any case, I expect you to behave, Levi."

"You sound like a broken record, mom." 

"I'm only making sure, honey. Goodnight, sweetie."

Levi didn't respond. He waited for his mother to go upstairs before breathing heavily, stepping back to head towards the living room to call for Eren, who was reading a book on the black couch. “Oi, come eat your dinner.”

Eren stood up from his spot, closing the book without placing a bookmark and made his way towards Levi. The shorter male was adding a couple of sliced bananas to the side of his plate and pouring a glass of Almond Milk. “I feel embarrassed to eat.”

“You shouldn’t. I might not like you as much, but I won’t let you starve at my house. Hurry up and sit so that you can eat.”

Eren did as told, pushing the chair back to sit down. He put his arm on the table to lean his cheek against his hand. “Hey, I heard what you said to your mom about me not being too bad.” 

Levi went rigid for a moment, swearing inside his head for forgetting that Eren was in the other room listening to his conversation with his mother. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to hear that. “You heard wrong,” was all Levi stated as he finally turned around and placed the full plate in front of Eren. A turkey and cheese sandwich with a fried egg on top was on the plate.  

“I didn’t. You’re just embarrassed that I heard what you said,” Eren smirked, looking down at the plate to pluck a slice of banana and pop it into his mouth. “It’s all right, Levi. I won’t tease you about it.” 

There was a blush on Levi’s cheeks that shouldn’t be there. So, he turned away to put the few ingredients back inside the refrigerator. “Eat your fucking food, Eren.” 

The teenager laughed instead, “It’s only been a day, and you’re already calling me by my first name. I believe we’re making progress.” 

Breathing deeply to hold himself together, Levi tilted his head to the side to glare at Eren. “Jaeger, I swear to all that is Holy—“

“I thought you’d be swearing to Satan, seeing as you’re his child and all.”

Cheeky little shit. Levi couldn't say that he hated him. It would be a lie. A big fat fucking lie, holy shit, can this night end?

Again, Levi came forward to place his hands on the table and lean forward to get into Eren’s space. “Do you want to die?” 

Eren hummed, eating another slice of banana, “Are you going to kiss me awake?” 

If anything, Levi’s blush became darker. “Huh?” 

Choosing to ignore Levi in the meantime, Eren picked up his sandwich and bit into it. After he swallowed, he smiled up at Levi with grateful green eyes. “Thanks for the meal, Levi.” 

Frowning at the sudden change of mood, Levi forced down the blush on his cheeks to go the fuck away already. He was pretty sure he had never felt his cheeks grow so hot in a day; what the hell, indeed. Levi should be avoiding Eren for invading his home, not blushing like some damn school girl. “Uh, yeah,” was the only quick reply he could offer without opening and closing his mouth like a stupid fish out of water.  

Whatever, it's fucking embarrassing, but it is what it is. 

The clock read 12:47 AM when Levi glanced up at the microwave and looked down to Eren, who was sitting there quietly playing with the corner of the napkin, drumming his fingers on the table in a slow rhythm. It was almost like there was a clock ticking in the background, counting down the minutes and seconds. It made Levi feel somewhat nervous like he was waiting for something to happen.  

So, he talked because Eren wasn’t going to, and Levi was starting to dislike the silence in the kitchen. “Do you have your school supplies ready?”

Eren hummed but didn’t provide an answer.  

“What about your uniform? I should probably mention that the school doesn’t let us wear red undershirts, which is great ‘cause whom the hell likes that color?” 

Eren looked up at that, and he looked, well, Levi didn’t fucking know what that emotion was. He didn’t have a name. “Do you like the color red?” 

Eren stopped his tapping and folded his arms over the table. “I don’t,” he murmured, blinking a couple of times. “I despise that color.”

 Levi swallowed, thinking he must have said something wrong for the mood to deplete and go to shit. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Eren spoke before Levi had the chance to say something. 

“My homeroom Professor is Mr. Hannes. Do you know who that is? He’s in room 323, so I’m assuming his class is on the third floor, right?”

Levi was tired of standing up, and he wanted to sit down, but the lingering thoughts in his mind reminded him that it was already 1:04 AM, and they had to get up at the ass crack of dawn. “Yeah, he’s also my homeroom teacher this year. Cool, so you’re with me. We’re in there for the first and third periods. Homeroom is an hour-long for some stupid reason, and then Mr. Hannes teaches us Economics for the next hour to the students that have that class.” 

“Damn, I don’t like to be the new kid. It’s fucking annoying as shit to hear so many strangers talking about you. I’m not excited for tomorrow,” Eren groaned, sighing as he bent down to rest his head on his arms. “Wait, I have to sit through an hour of Economics so early in the morning? That sounds like complete torture! What do you even do during that whole first hour?” 

“Nothing, listen to the school news that is boring as hell, and go over any questions the other kids might have on homework or whatever.” Levi glanced away as he said that and then looked back to Eren to supply him a reply for the stares he was going to get tomorrow, “Ignore them. It’s not that bad, okay, it is. Just do what I do,” Levi shrugged, gripping the back of the chair. 

“And that is?”

“Glare at them.” 

Eren ended up laughing, covering his mouth to hide his smile as he pushed the chair back to stand up and grab his plate. “I don’t think I can make that killer glare you had all day, but I can try, I guess.” 

Levi scoffed, moving to grab the plate from Eren’s hands so that he could wash it himself. “You know that it’s going to suck ass for you tomorrow. School started a week ago, so you’re going to have a shit ton of catching up to do.” 

The ceramic plate slipped from tan hands to small, pale ones. Eren shrugged his shoulders at that. “It doesn’t matter because I’m all caught up already. Before I got here, your mother called the school and had them send me all the material that the professors would be covering the first week of school.” 

That was thoughtful of Levi’s mother to do that for someone she didn’t know. It was questionable, though, on how Eren ended up here and on how he knew Levi's mother. It was far too late into the night to ask the boy and possibly a bit too personal, so Levi hummed, “Oh, that’s uh, nice, I guess.” 

Eren was silent once more. He was standing off to the side, watching Levi wash the plate, and it should be uncomfortable, but it wasn't. If anything, those green eyes looked pensive, questions swirling around in pools of blue-green. “Hey, is there any way for me to join that music show next week?”

After putting the wet plate on the dish rack to dry, Levi dried his hands with a paper towel and turned around to put everything he used away and wash the frying pan. “If there’s space on the list, then sure, I guess. You’d have to talk to Mrs. Ral first.” 

“Oh, I have her for the 5th period. What about you?” 

Levi paused mid-second and then resumed putting away the bread in the refrigerator. “I also have her for the 5th period.” What the hell? Okay, so he had Eren for Homeroom, Economics for 3rd, and Music for 5th. Hopefully, they wouldn't get paired together for a music project.  

“I see,” Eren said, shuffling back to stand beside the door leading to the living room. “I guess I’ll go to bed now. Thanks again for the meal, Levi.” 

Levi watched Eren go through the reflection of the window in front of him. He didn't bother answering, nor did he tell Eren that it was no problem. Levi continued to wash the pan until all of the greases had washed away, and it was left looking shiny. Sighing into the quiet of the night, Levi finished up rather quickly before shutting off the light and making his way out of the kitchen to head upstairs. Though, he ran into Eren on his way out and stumbled a little, hitting the side of the wall. “What the hell, Eren?”

Eren glanced to the side, dark eyes watching Levi hit the wall before he turned away and headed up the stairs. “Sorry,” he mumbled but didn't say anything else as he reached the top floor and disappeared down the hallway and into his room.  

Levi was still leaning against the wall, confused. He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment and went up the same way to head into his bedroom. Whatever happened just now, it was better not to question it, Levi guessed.  

» » »

It was 5:15 AM when Levi woke from a restless sleep to find his bedsheets at the foot of his bed, and one of his feet, missing a black sock. Levi stared down at his foot for a moment before reaching forward to slide his arm under the dark gray covers to search for his missing sock. Once his hand grasped it, he pulled it out and slipped it on. It was a little chilly inside his bedroom, and it was to be expected with winter slowly but steadily approaching. Maybe it would snow this time of the year, who knows? Levi hoped it didn't. 

Levi yawned as he stretched his arms over his head, breathing in deeply and letting out a breath. He hurried out of bed to get into the bathroom and hop into the shower for a quick wash. Levi was out in eight minutes, and after three minutes of thoroughly brushing his teeth, he was walking out of the steamy bathroom towel-drying his damp hair to approach his closet to take out his uniform. 

Wearing black dickies and a soft cotton shirt in navy blue wasn’t all that bad, especially since the school wasn’t strict enough about what shoes the students wore. Levi thought that was the best part as he was tying the laces of his black and white Vans. He sat up and looked around the room, noting that his bed was unmade and set off to fix it. Once made, Levi ran a hand through his silky raven locks, his hair falling into his usual off-center parting. He looked himself in the mirror and frowned at what he saw. Usually, Levi never cared what he looked like in the morning, but it was different now since Eren was living in his house.  

Although it shouldn’t matter, it did.  

Glancing at the clock, Levi saw that it was 5:45 AM, so he grabbed his book bag, phone and wallet and, without a second thought, took his black hoodie, slipping it over his head quickly to escape the cold, and left his room, shutting the door quietly. Seeming to expect for Eren also to leave his room, Levi heard no sound coming from the inside and shrugged, thinking that Eren must still be asleep. It was what Levi was expecting as he made his way downstairs and into the living room to head off to the front door.  

Levi startled when he saw Eren on his phone, sitting on the black couch in the dim lighting of the living room. The raven-haired-teen tapped his shoe on the wooden floor for a moment and passed by the brunet. “Let’s go,” Levi grunted instead of offering a friendly greeting.  

Shuffling sounded before another set of footsteps were following behind Levi. The two boys reached the front door and then slipped out of it. Now that they made their way down the steps, Levi glanced at Eren from the corner of his eye. The kid dressed in the uniform, but he was wearing a dark gray hoodie with the words, _Toaster_ embroidered on the left side of his chest. Ah, he was also wearing the same brand of shoes Levi was wearing. 

The outside world was still peaceful as the two students wandered down an empty sidewalk towards the bus stop. Once they reached it, there were already a few students waiting. None of them greeted Levi, but they did stare curiously at Eren, wondering who the new kid was and what was he doing walking with the school’s recluse Levi Ackerman.  

Eren hadn’t spoken yet, and it was relieving, however uncomfortable as if Levi was anticipating Eren to say something, break the ice, or whatever. Levi shoved his hands in his pockets and stood there in the cold, looking forward until the boy beside him moved closer to stand beside Levi. The raven-haired-teen tilted his chin up to look at Eren with a bored expression. Yet questioning the student on what his deal was.  

Eren’s jade-colored eyes had shadows underneath them that resembled the dark circles under Levi’s blue eyes. His eyes were empty as they stared down at Levi until Eren offered Levi a small smile, and then he was looking towards the sounds of screeching breaks and the big yellow school bus coming into view. Eren waited until it was only them two standing outside, and that was when he stepped forward, climbing on the broad steps until Eren saw a sea of sleepy, foreign faces. 

It made anxiety stir in his stomach until a hand started pushing him forward to move. That was when Eren focused on the last empty seat in the back and nearly made a run for it. He was almost sure that the hand on his back lingered a little longer until it fell away, and Levi followed him to the back seat. Eren would have offered Levi the window seat, but the shorter male shook his head and shoved Eren to sit down already. 

Levi made himself as comfortable as he could get on the slightly cushioned seats that were most likely never cleaned. He sighed as he placed his bag on his lap and took out his phone and earphones to listen to some tunes while they made their way to school. Levi was okay with the stares and whispers, but now they were more irritating than usual, and it was all because of Eren sitting beside him. So, Levi nudged Eren with his elbow and typed a message on his phone for the boy to read.  

_Aren’t you going to tell them to shut the fuck up? They’re not usually this bad._

Eren took a look around and frowned. Yes, all of them were staring at him from the back of their seats with curious eyes. Surely, he couldn't be that interesting to talk about for hours on end. Eren was sure that by the end of the week, everyone would forget about him as they always did. He glanced back down and took Levi’s sleek black iPhone from the raven’s hand to type his response. 

_It’s not worth it._

The phone stayed in Eren’s hand, and without Levi's permission, Eren swiped away the message application to go to music. He spent a few seconds scrolling through Levi’s grand selection of songs and clicked on one that he knew and often listened to on his phone. The beginning of a high pitched electric guitar played from Levi’s earphones, followed by the drums and screams. ' _Desolate Veil_ ' by Lorna Shore streamed through the earphones, sounding muffled to Eren, and loud to Levi.  

It made the raven wonder why Eren picked that song precisely. He didn’t change it to a different tune, and he didn’t get mad that Eren took his phone without his permission. It should, but it didn’t, and that was saying something, or maybe it wasn't saying anything, and Levi was too sleep-deprived to come up with an answer.  

The words, _I just want to fucking die_ , were mouthed by Eren, and then the brunet handed Levi his phone and looked away.  

Levi had an inkling feeling on what Eren was trying to tell him, but he wasn’t so sure when the boy turned away and ignored him for the rest of the ride.  

The coldness stung, but Levi should know better than even while being ignored by someone who was nevertheless a stranger to him, it still made his heart clench in his chest. 

» » »

Upon arriving at Rose Senior High, Levi stepped off of the bus and let his blue eyes roam across the front yard of the school. He didn't see Hanji or Mike at the front of the school, so he strolled around with Eren, making sure that the tall teen didn’t get lost in the hallways or carried out into the angry ocean of students making their way to homeroom or anywhere else in the building. Levi stopped in front of the cafeteria for a moment, wondering if he should ask Eren if he wanted some breakfast. It was decent enough for Levi to come back and have some.  

“Oi, are you hungry?”  

Eren was looking elsewhere, green eyes darting everywhere and anywhere as if trying to memorize the layout of the corridors and to where they lead. “Yeah, are we getting breakfast?” 

“That’s the whole reason why I’m asking in the first place.” Levi rolled his eyes and shoved the door open with his foot. No way in hell was he going to touch that germ-infested handle with his hand. It almost slammed against the wall, but Eren managed to grab the handle in time. It had Levi scoffing and sauntering inside with no cares in the world. He strode up to where the blue lunch trays were and grabbed two. Levi gave one to Eren, who was staring at him with evident nervousness in his green eyes.  

They stood in line for a few seconds until Levi concluded that he didn’t want scrambled eggs and toast and opted, in getting two boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a carton of milk. Not his choice of breakfast, but they also weren't serving black tea this morning. He waited for Eren to make a choice, raising an eyebrow when the kid asked if they made fried eggs because scrambled eggs were gross.  

The lunch lady looked offended, and Levi smirked at that. He huffed a laugh that sounded more like a loud sigh and watched Eren grimace and take a box of Lucky Charms and a carton of milk. Levi shook his head and then made his way to the cash register. He took out his wallet to pay for his and Eren’s breakfast.  

“I could’ve paid for my cereal.”

Levi shrugged his shoulders as he looked around the full room and made his way towards the back where there were a few empty tables. “Consider it an apology for my shit attitude yesterday.” 

“Don’t think that it will always work because it won’t.”

They sat at the table and ate their meals in relative silence until Levi slammed his hand down on the table. It startled a few students and had more than half of them looking their way. “Yeah, and don’t think we’re the best of friends now since we sat together on the bus, and I bought you breakfast because I still fucking hate you.” 

Eren was smiling this time. It was the second smile, and it was so fake that Levi felt his food crawling up his esophagus. “Glad to see that you’re a hypocritical asshole. Of course, what the hell was I expecting from you? Nothing, that’s what. I can’t believe I thought you might have had a change of heart, but you’re just like everyone else I’ve met. Thanks for breakfast, Levi, let’s not do _that_ again,” Eren growled, getting up from the table to take off with his blue tray in his hands.  

Levi rose from the flat bench as well. “And how the hell are you going to get to class? Eren, this is your first day here!”

Eren swiveled around without hitting anyone with his tray and glared at Levi with a look of hostility and barely concealed hatred. “I don’t have to tell you shit, do I? I'm not your boyfriend.” The brunet didn’t wait for an explanation and slammed down the tray beside the garbage can before exiting out of the double doors.  

“Tch, dumbass kid,” Levi snarled, tapping his fingers on the navy blue table for a moment while his brows drew together before picking up his tray to take it back to the shocked lunch lady. Levi could feel the stares on his back, watching him make his way out of the doors. Dark blue eyes scanned the crowded hallways to see if he could spot Eren hiding in between the thick pillars of the school. Levi wasn’t able to locate Eren until he was making his way upstairs to the third floor, and that was when his eyes turned to slits as he looked at the short blond kid talking amicably with Eren.  

Armin Arlert, the school's book worm, and also his and Hanji's friend, was standing with Hanji, who was also beside Eren speaking loudly while moving her hands around. It wasn't bad, Levi supposed. Though, he didn’t know Eren and Armin knew each other. It was when Levi's trying to blend in with the wall that Hanji spotted him standing at the end of the hall with his hands in his pockets.  

“Oh, Levi, bunny!” Hanji exclaimed as she waved her arms over her head, motioning with her hands for Levi to come over there. 

Of course, that would get everyone's attention. Levi didn't need this right now.  

Armin turned his head to smile at Levi like he always did every morning, but Eren didn’t spare him a glance.  

Levi made his way towards the three students and chose to stand beside Hanji, who nudged his ribs with her elbow while smiling knowingly. Levi rolled his eyes, keeping quiet as the three students engaged in conversation once more.  

“Good morning, Levi,” Armin greeted, smiling when Levi nodded his head and turned to Eren. “Hey, I talked to Mrs. Ral like you asked me to. She said that it’s fine, but she needs to hear you sing something first, so you’ll be doing that during the 5th period.” 

Eren grinned at that, seeming calmer than 15 minutes ago. “That’s fine; I already have a song in mind. She won’t mind if I borrow the piano?” 

Hanji jumped into the conversation at this point, “Oh, she doesn’t mind at all! I mean, she allows Levi to play it all the time!—“ 

“Shut the hell up,” Levi hissed, catching Eren’s green eyes watching him for a split second before Levi looked away to hide the faint blush on his cheeks when the bell dinged twice, and students started to trickle into their classes. 

Once everyone was seated except for Eren, Mr. Hannes stepped into the classroom with a brown briefcase, dressed in a crisp baby blue, long-sleeved button-down shirt tucked into beige slacks. “Good morning, everyone.” 

Some students greeted back while others smiled and waved, yet after that, everyone went back to whispering to each other about Eren. Some of them kept glancing at Levi since they were at the cafeteria in the morning, witnessing the two boys argue with each other. It was quite a scene for an early morning filled with zombie-like students slowly making their way down the corridors.  

“All right, students. Settle down, please. I was informed by Principal Smith this morning that we have a new student starting his first day here today. Everyone, if you would, please welcome Eren Jaeger to our class.” Mr. Hannes smiled warmly, clapping his hands as he allowed Eren to sit wherever he liked. It just so happened that the only empty seat was behind Levi.  

Levi’s heart was pounding in his chest when Eren passed by him without a glance in his direction. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did, yet Levi had no one to blame except for himself. After all, Levi was the reason that Eren walked away angrily. It was Levi’s fault for not running after Eren to apologize, but what can anyone expect from Levi? Nothing was what Eren had told him.  

From there on, the first two hours went by without incident. Hanji didn’t bother Levi as if she sensed he would blow up on her if she so much as talked to him. Armin left him alone as well, keeping close to Eren while the two of them whispered to each other. Levi’s eyes were trained on the clock above the dry-erase board, watching the seconds tick by until finally, the bell rang, and the professor dismissed them to lunch. Levi sighed in relief as he got up from his desk, slinging his bag over his shoulder to leave when a hand grasped the back of his hoodie. It had Levi turning his head to the side to glance over his shoulder.  

Eren’s eyes were a deep green, and his mouth set into a straight line. He inched closer until his lips were barely brushing against Levi’s left earlobe. He sighed quietly and spoke in a low voice, “I suggest we make up before the end of the day. Your mother is a smart woman, and it’ll only be worse for you if she finds out what an ass you are to me.” 

Levi scowled, standing as still as possible because with Eren almost pressing against him, the raven’s skin wanted to break out into shivers. “Fine, then let’s talk on the school roof after we get out of here.” 

Eren nodded and let go of Levi’s hoodie, his hand falling to his side. “Lead the way,” he murmured, following behind Levi at a distance. He almost forgot that Armin was watching them, but he smiled at his friend and let him know that he would see him during 5th period.  

Armin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at his tall best friend who rolled his eyes and disappeared through the door.  

» » »

The creaking of the dark gray metal door filled the silence in the stairwell and made the noise echo, above all chatter and laughter seeping from underneath the door on the first floor. It was Levi who was climbing up the stairs one at a time, his breathing even although, every time he sighed, the sound was loud in his ears.  

Eren was behind him as silent as a ghost except for the sound of his shoes on the stairs. He hadn’t spoken since they left Economics together, and it was starting to become suffocating once again.  

Levi finally reached the door to the roof of the school and pushed it open, holding it until Eren stepped through it and let go. It shut without a sound. Today, the skies were an opaque gray, and the wind was as cold as it could get, yet instead of feeling a sense of calm, Levi felt nothing but stress clawing at his stomach. He swallowed as he stepped further out to sit on a black bench located near a fire extinguisher. Why was there one up here? Levi didn’t have a clue.

Eren, on the other hand, took in the scenery in a different light. All he saw was darkness and the rays of the bright sun struggling to get through the density of the clouds. The bitter wind slapping against his exposed face and ruffling his chestnut locks did nothing but bring sad memories to mind. He glanced over to the tall buildings in the distance and listened to the sounds of cars honking and the wind whistling through the trees.  

After a while, Eren sat beside Levi on the bench and said nothing. This time, he waited for the raven to speak. He waited for an apology that may never come.  

Levi felt uncomfortable at best, aggravated sometimes, depressed all the fucking time. But having Eren sit near him made him want to jump off of the ledge and pray that when he hit the ground, he would wake up in his bed drenched in cold sweat because this was indeed a nightmare. “Look, Jaeger—“ 

“Eren, my name is Eren, not Jaeger,” Eren cut Levi off, giving him a wary look before turning away to gaze up at the muted sky.  

“Look, _Eren_. We started on the wrong foot.” 

“No, shit.”

Levi pinched the skin between his eyebrows. Be calm and take deep breaths. “You’re not making this any easier.” 

“Right, of course. Please, blame me for your shitty attitude while I sit here and wonder when that other face of yours is going to make its second debut,” Eren scoffed, sighing heavily.  

Levi stood up abruptly. If Eren wouldn't take him seriously, then Levi was done here. It was better to leave before saying something he would regret. “Forget it; you can fuck off for all I care.”

Eren was up in no less than a second, grabbing Levi by his shoulders to push him back until he was pinned against the wall by the door. “I know you care. If not, you would have told me to get lost back in class. You care about me, don’t you?” 

Levi was looking up into forest green eyes and frowned. His anger that was simmering was now boiling. If Eren didn’t move away, then Levi was going to punch him. “You’re wrong.” 

“Am I?” Eren asked as he leaned down to inch closer to Levi. “I’m a burden to you, Levi. Admit it to me that I’m a nuisance coming to interrupt your peaceful life.” 

Levi kept his lips sealed. No, he wouldn’t admit it. It had only been a day, but even if Eren were to leave elsewhere, maybe he would miss that other silent presence in his home.  

Eren’s face was too close. His lips looked so undeniably soft that Levi wanted to inch closer and kiss them, and that terrified him. “Say it, or I won’t let you go to class, and we’ll both be late.” 

Levi would not admit it. “Fuck off, Jaeger.”

The dead look was back, and it made Levi’s heart fall into his stomach. Eren walked away, giving Levi his back as he opened the door with enough force for it to bang against the wall before shutting quietly. Levi was left alone like last night, watching Eren disappear. 

» » »

_Ding. Ding. Ding._  

Inside of room 152 was Mrs. Ral’s music class, and inside of the classroom, everyone was already seated except for Levi, who entered five minutes after the bell with a stoic expression and distant, blue eyes glaring at anyone that made eye contact with him.  

“Ah, Levi! So glad you can make it, dear. Unfortunately, someone else took your seat, so you’ll have to sit next to Eren near the back.” 

Eren glanced at him with an indifferent expression and looked away just as fast. 

For a fleeting moment, Levi saw sadness flash in those pools of green. Levi didn’t know how much angst he could handle today. He nodded his head and made his way towards Eren, once again ignoring all the stares until he was seated on the black chair, unintentionally brushing his hoodie-covered arm against Eren’s side.  

The boy beside him moved away, and it only made Levi feel worse about himself.  

“All right, my lovelies. I already introduced Eren to you all, which you guys welcomed him warmly,” Professor Ral grinned, clapping her hands together. “Thank you for that, but now we must get down to business. As you all know, next week is the music show, and Armin informed me that Eren would like to sign up to join. Knowing that if you want to stand on stage and perform, first you have to sing to the class. Think of it as an audition, more or less. Any questions, Eren?” 

Eren shook his head.  

“Okay, then please come up when you’re ready. You may use any instrument if you wish to do so.”

The class filled with eager students waited to listen to Eren’s singing voice. It was evident with the excited whispers, especially Armin, who scooted closer to look at Levi with a grin.   

“What’s with that look, coconut head?” 

“Nothing, I only saw you and Eren leaving together. So, did you two kiss?”

Levi’s cheeks turned pink, and he scowled. “We met yesterday, Armin. What the hell?" 

"What do you mean, what the hell? I talked to Eren last night, and he wouldn't shut up about you. He likes you enough to do that." 

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Eren talked about me?"

"Are you curious to know?" Armin smiled, chuckling afterward. 

"N-No," Levi cursed under his breath for stuttering. "I'm not curious, so quit giggling like an idiot." 

Armin was dying of laughter, and it was loud enough for Eren to look towards the back of the class where Levi was blushing and hiding his lips behind his hand, and Armin was wiping at his eyes. 

"Shut up, will you?" Levi grumbled, making eye contact with Eren for a split second before focusing all of his attention on Armin. "Eren hasn’t told you that we hate each other or that we can't hold a proper conversation without arguing?”

The blond student was struggling to keep his laughter under control, and he managed to do so when Levi glared at him. “Mm, he told me you made him a sandwich yesterday and that it was tasty.”

“Oh,” Levi replied, blue eyes flicking up to watch Eren set up behind a grand piano, lifting the lid to play each note. “He didn’t say anything else about me?” 

“Not that I know of,” Armin hummed, tapping his right cheek and then shrugging. “Um, he might have mentioned that you got into trouble because of him.” 

“Tch, don’t fucking remind me.”

“It was that bad?”

“He’s an annoying little shit. He made me lose my composure and talk back to my mom, which is how I ended up getting grounded.” 

Armin laughed, blue eyes widening as he took in Levi's response. "You got in trouble because of Eren? Hah, that's hilarious!" He exclaimed, covering his mouth to hide his face behind his blond hair. 

Levi wasn't that upset since he made his friend laugh, even though it was at him. "Go ahead and laugh all you want, you shrimp. You'll be crying when I kick ass during that competition next week." 

"Sure," Armin snickered, heaving as he tried to breathe. "If you can beat Eren at singing. He's got lungs of steel!" 

"Lungs of steel?" Now, that had Levi snorting and breaking out into laughter. It was a rare sight indeed, but because the sound echoed from the walls, the reverberations carried to Eren's ears, and the brunet was anything but happy.

Both boys eventually settled down after getting called upon, and Armin moved away to pay attention to the front of the class.  

Mrs. Ral was sitting at her desk, shaking her head while looking at her star pupil and friend giggling before directing watchful golden eyes to train them on Eren. “Eren, dear. Please start when you’re ready.” 

Eren nodded, momentarily forgetting that Armin and Levi were laughing at him. He’d get those two losers for making him the butt of the joke. “This song is called ‘ _Werewolves_ ’ by Secret & Whisper.” He took a deep breath and began to play. The first notes played in repetition until Eren started to sing the lyrics, 

“ _Give into ghosts that haunt you_

_Accept the friends you want to_

_I feel like I am barely on_

_A well with all the water drawn_

_Are there rooms inside, protection from the passers-by?_

_Is there a place where I can close my eyes?_

_I wish there was_

_In the hallway light, you slip right by like a mirage_

_When I’m hard on life, I sleep in days and wander nights_

_With legs too weak to carry on_

_We fall apart like falling stars_

 

_Falling stars_

_Falling stars._ ”  

It was silent for a moment, and then the entire classroom erupted into applause. Eren stood up from behind the piano after closing the lid and moved to stand in the middle of the class to smile sheepishly.  

“Wow, my oh my, your voice is as good as Levi’s!” Mrs. Ral squealed in delight, clapping her hands together. “You both play and sing. Magnificent! You both should do the next project together. Oh, I hope that you do. It will be super lovely to see what you boys play and sing.” 

Eren’s sheepish smile faltered a little at that, but he smiled nonetheless. “It depends on Levi.” 

All eyes were on Levi now. It made him want to squirm in his chair at all the attention, especially Eren’s heavy gaze. The raven-haired-teen shrugged his shoulders, faking that he was okay and that he didn’t want to flee the classroom. “Whatever. He wasn’t bad.” 

“Then it’s settled! You two will have to come to terms with a song for your final grade. It can be a musical piece played on instruments, or you both can sing a song together. Whatever you want. It’ll be due on the week before school ends.” 

Damn, that didn’t seem like fun with how things were going with Eren. Levi had no problem coming up with a song to play, but with Eren’s sudden bout of anger and weird mood swings, Levi wasn’t sure if he was ready to trek through those deep waters. Maybe if Levi was patient enough to handle such a problematic brat, then this project won’t be so bad.  

Eren seemed to mull over some things in his head as he walked passed the professor, making his way around several chairs to sit back beside Levi. Under the brightness of the artificial light coming from the ceiling, Eren’s eyes seemed teal, more on the color of the ocean than anything else. As the teenager took a seat, he fixed his eyes on Levi and Armin.  

Levi turned his head to meet mesmerizing eyes that had flecks of gold around the pupil and raised a pierced brow. “The hell are you looking at, Eren?” 

“Why were you and Armin laughing while looking at me?” Eren glanced above Levi’s head to look at Armin with questioning eyes.  

“Um, it was nothing!” Armin squeaked, holding his hands up while ducking his head to try and hide behind Levi.  

“Armin said you have lungs of steel. I found it funny, so I laughed, is that a problem?” God, those eyes were something else.  

“What did I say back inside your kitchen yesterday?” Eren murmured, leaning in so that his and Levi’s noses were almost touching. 

It was a good thing that Eren chose to sit in the second to last row at the back. That way, everyone’s eyes were focused on the professor. Luckily, other taller students were sitting in front of both boys, so they were mostly hidden from Mrs. Ral. Levi knew it wouldn’t last long until they were called out to answer whatever it was she was talking about, but until then, Levi stared up into Eren’s teal eyes. “If I remember correctly, you said not to talk shit while you were around, but Eren, _dear_ , you were sitting up front getting friendly with the piano. So, that concludes that you were nowhere near us to hear.” 

Eren’s eyes widened slightly and slowly became half-lidded the further he inched towards Levi’s face. “Sounds like you were jealous that I was touching the piano and not you.” 

Levi blushed and looked away, scowling at Armin, who giggled quietly. “I thought I wasn’t your type.” 

Eren’s lips were pressing against Levi’s ear, warm breath fanning over the raven’s exposed skin, “You are, but I don’t want to fall for a walking tragedy,” he whispered, smiling sweetly, as he faced towards the front as if he hadn’t caused Levi’s heart to drop into his stomach.   

As the bell rang, Levi cornered Eren against one of the unavailable lockers rusting away. “Hey asshole, what’s your problem? You think you can get close to me and use all that sweet-talking shit and then play it off like if it didn’t affect me?” 

Glancing around, Eren rolled his eyes as he looked down at Levi with annoyance. “You’re causing a scene.” 

“Fuck if I care what I’m causing, shit-head. You better apologize to me,” Levi demanded, sidestepping Eren so that the brunet couldn't escape.  

It wasn’t funny anymore, and Eren knew that. It felt wrong to him that he said all those things to Levi even if he was joking. It looked like Levi was more sentimental and didn’t know the difference between taking it seriously or not. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. You’re not a walking tragedy, Levi; I am, and you and I both know that.” 

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean, Eren. I don’t take that lightly, all right? Don’t play with my feelings or you’ll go home with a black eye, and I’ll force you to tell my mom you ran into a pole.” Levi had his hand on the wall beside Eren while his right leg was caging Eren in from leaving.  

“Am I forgiven?”  

“Only because I think you’re bipolar, and you’ll lose your shit if I say no,” Levi half-joked, stepping away to turn Eren around and push him into the crowded hallways.  

After all, they only had about a minute left before the bell rang, and Levi had to get to Art; he wasn’t sure about Eren.  

» » »

Levi was already in the seventh period -- the last class of the day, and it wasn’t always exciting until today. He had Art with Hanji, Mike, who happened to be absent today, Jean, Armin, and lo and behold, Eren fucking Jaeger. Maybe tomorrow Levi wouldn’t have the kid for any classes. A Days were always a piece of cake for Levi, but not any more or so it seemed. What kind of deity brought this upon poor unsuspecting Levi? Oh, and it wasn’t only that that bothered Levi, no, but it was also the fact that they had to go home together on the school bus every damn day.  

Levi wondered if his mother had something to do with Eren’s suspicious schedule. Whether it was to keep an eye on Eren or if it was to get on Levi’s nerves. Whichever of the two, it was working, but not in the way Levi wanted. Well, it wasn’t so bad now if he got to joke with Eren like this.  

Hanji sat in front of Levi with a Cheshire grin on her lips, brown eyes full behind the frames of her glasses. “So?” 

Levi was busy sketching thick eyebrows on his drawing pad when he heard Hanji’s question. “What,” he stated, continuing to draw in little hairs.  

“How was Eren?” 

Levi’s black sketching pencil halted on the paper as his eyes flicked up to meet Hanji’s. “In what way?” 

Hanji’s grin was manic now, and she was looking beside Levi to see that Eren had his hand propped up on the table holding his chin while he doodled, occasionally answering Armin whenever he asked a question. “In bed!” 

“Oh, my fuck,” Levi growled, almost snapping his black pencil in his hand. “Don’t say shit like that when he can hear you, you dumbass!” The blue-eyed teen kicked Hanji’s shin under the table.  

“Ouch!” 

Now, that got Eren’s attention; it had the brunet and his blond friend shifting their eyes at the two friends bickering. “Don’t hit girls, Levi, or you’ll never get a girlfriend,” Eren reprimanded, raising an eyebrow when Levi gave him the middle finger.  

“Fuck off. I don’t like girls, so there’s no problem there. However, Hanji isn’t a girl. She’s a damn alien.”

Eren rolled his eyes, storing that piece of information in an empty file inside his brain. Although he might have already known, Levi swung that way if he could lean in close enough that they were almost kissing. “What does that make you, then?” 

“I’m still Levi.”

Eren grinned. “I thought you were Satan’s love child, but I guess I was wrong.” 

That had a few students giggling while Levi glared at Eren and shoved the boy hard enough to make him almost tumble out of his chair.  

Clearing his throat and sitting back on his chair, Eren asked, “I heard around that you’re the school’s recluse. What’s up with that?” 

Levi knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate with these two demons talking to him, so he dropped his pencil and leaned in his chair to turn his head and give Eren some of his time. For a brat that claimed not to like Levi, he sure spoke to him a lot and got into his personal space. “Did you also hear that I punch guys like you in the face when they don’t shut the hell up and mind their own business?” 

“Ah, did I touch a nerve, Levi?”

God damn did Levi want to stand up and kick Eren in the face, but he couldn’t because he was fucking grounded until who knew when. If he laid a hand on Eren, then he could kiss goodbye to his band practice. Levi’s face was as stoic as always, but his blue eyes were becoming darker by the second. “Jaeger, you better shut the fuck up.” 

“Or you’ll do what hit me? Unless you want to be in trouble until you move out of your house, then sure, go ahead, but until then, you can’t do shit to me,” Eren threatened, smirking while watching Levi trying to compose himself.  

“Wow, Levi, you must like Eren a whole lot if he can get away with talking to you like that,” a new voice spoke up. Of all people, Jean had to get into a conversation where he didn’t belong.  

Hanji and Armin were looking in between the three boys with amusement in their eyes. “This is going to be good,” Hanji whispered to Armin, who nodded his head while biting his lip.  

“Who invited you to this funeral, horse-face? Kick the bucket and go,” Eren snapped, directing Jean’s eyes to his own. 

The long-faced student laughed, raising an eyebrow as his eyes flitted from Levi’s face to Eren’s. “Sorry, I didn’t think Levi would get so quickly with the new kid.” 

Levi could easily chuck his eraser at Jean’s head to get him to quit talking, but it was Eren who stood up and lunged over the table to grab the two-toned fucker’s collar and bring Jean close to his face. That was when Levi rose from his chair to get behind Eren and wrap his arms around the taller’s waist to move him away. “Eren, stop it.”

The brunet was angry, and it didn’t register that there were arms around his waist or that everyone in the class was speaking loudly. Eren only saw what was in front of him, and it was Jean’s stupid smirk. Eren lifted his fist to connect it to Jean’s face when he was held back by a small hand that held Eren’s arm tightly. “Don’t talk shit about Levi unless you want to get your ass kicked, bitch,” Eren hissed, allowing the boy behind him to pull him away and lead him to a more secluded corner.  

“As if a block-head like you can do anything to me. Why would you want to defend that loner freak? He’s not worth your time, Eren.” 

A chorus of, ‘ _Holy shit, Jean’s gonna die_ ,’ and ‘ _Oh my god, I guess we need to purchase a casket_ ,’ — the second one came from Armin’s mouth — filled the room. 

“Yes, defend your prince, Eren!” Screeched Hanji, pumping her fists into the air.  

Armin rolled his eyes, making Hanji sit down. “Hush! You’ll get us all in trouble!” 

“Stop, don’t let it get to you,” Levi murmured to Eren as he was holding the brunet’s arms to get him to stay still.  

“Like hell, I won’t let it get to me! Why won’t you defend yourself?” 

Levi blinked, realizing that Eren was right. “Because he’s never said shit to me until you showed up.”

“Oh, so _I’m_ the problem now?”

“Fuck, no, that’s not what I meant!” 

Eren glanced away, sighing while his shoulders dropped, and he found himself leaning forward to rest his head against Levi’s clothed stomach. “Sorry, I know that’s not what you meant, but that douchebag pisses me off.” 

Levi’s heart skipped a beat, and he was glad that the professor was out in a short meeting. He was pleased that there wasn’t a fight and that Eren wasn’t hurt. It left Levi wondering how and when did he ever become a tsundere.  

It hadn’t even been a week — almost two days since Eren had moved into his home, and Levi was already acting this way. He should push Eren away and become cold again, but he found that he couldn’t. “Kick his ass after school, but don’t get caught.” 

Eren leaned back with a laugh spilling from his mouth, “Yeah, thanks for the great advice, Levi.”

“Uh, yeah.” 

The bell rang soon after, and people started to pick up their things and leave. Levi mused that Hanji wasn’t going to stay behind and bother him, but that was wishful thinking on Levi’s part because that was what happened.  

“Levi, I must say that I approve of Eren,” she said, smiling and patting Eren on the shoulder while the boy looked in between them with a confused expression.  

“Wait; what?”

“Yeah, if you two were ever to date, you have my permission!” 

Levi sighed in embarrassment and slid his pale fingers through his fringe. “Hanji, shut the hell up, or I’ll come over your house and crush your hairy tarantula.” 

“No, please don’t hurt, Bambi!”

“That _thing_ is too disgusting to have that name.” 

Hanji whined, lips forming into a pout, “Bambi’s not disgusting, and he's not a thing!” 

“Right, my apologies. That spider is atrocious,” Levi deadpanned, his heart skipping another beat when that made Eren laugh. 

“Have you two been friends for a long time? I mean, you get to joke around with Levi, and you’re not dead yet,” Eren asked in a joking manner as the three of them were leaving the classroom. Armin had to go without them since he had to speak with Mrs. Ral about next week.  

“Unfortunately. I’ve had to keep a knife under my pillow every time Hanji comes over,” replied Levi with a sigh that had Eren smiling. 

“That’s not a nice thing to say.” 

“It is when you’ve seen how strange this thing can be and what Hanji's capable of doing.” 

“Hey, but you love me!” Hanji pouted, giggling when Levi pushed her away.  

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“How about you, Eren? How do you know Armin? I was surprised when the two of you yelled from across the hallway and hugged each other.”

That shouldn’t make Levi’s heart squeeze, but it did.  

“Oh, Armin and I go way back. We’ve been friends since grade school until I, um, had to move away because of my parent’s jobs.” 

“That’s nice. I’ve known Levi since the first half of middle school when this little shroom moved into the city. You should have seen him on his first day! He looked so cute, God, it was adorable,” Hanji sighed dreamily, jumping away when she saw Levi’s fist aiming towards her ribs.  

“Shut up, don’t call me a shroom, four-eyes! I’m older than you!” 

Eren watched with a pleasant smile on his lips. “You look cute with that blush on your cheeks,” he commented casually.  

That had Levi bumping into Hanji and tripping on air. “Not another word, Eren.”

Of course, as all good things, the happy atmosphere didn’t last long as the three students stepped outside into a raging storm. The wind was hard, and the sound of rain was loud in their ears.  

“Shit, no one said the clouds were going to piss on the entire city today,” Levi grumbled, lifting his hand up to grab the hood of his sweater and use it to cover his head.  

“You’re very rude when speaking,” Eren stated, doing the same as Levi. 

“Is that a problem?” Dark blue eyes gazed up into forest green.  

“Not at all.” 

Levi hummed, turning to Hanji, who had been strangely quiet only not to find his friend beside him. “Where the hell did the lunatic go?” 

“She gestured with her hands that she was heading back into school to find Armin.” 

“How do you know if she didn’t say anything?”

“Because she pointed inside and mouthed the name, ‘ _Armin_ ’.”

Levi didn’t supply an answer since he was busy watching the rain pelt down on the concrete. He wasn’t planning on catching a cold today, but it seemed like there was no way around it. Either he and Eren stayed back for another hour in this forsaken place or walked to the bus stop hoping that yellow worm magically made an appearance and saved them from getting drenched.  

“Hey,” Levi called as he stepped out into the rain to speed walk towards the bus stop. At least there was a plastic awning that would keep them from getting any wetter.  

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for standing up for me.” 

The shock was written all over Eren’s face, and Levi missed it because he was forcing himself to keep his eyes forward. It wasn’t hard to hear the gasp over the harsh rain and rustling trees.  

They didn’t speak after that until they barely made it inside the almost full school bus when it arrived nine minutes later. Again, the last seat in the back was empty, and it was Levi leading the way this time with Eren keeping close to him. Once the two boys were seated, Eren said something.  

“I had to do it, okay? I can’t stand watching someone small get stepped on,” he teased, falling to the side with a laugh when Levi shoved him.  

“Quit making fun of my height, you big ass tree.” Levi rolled his eyes, turning away to hide the small almost-smile on his lips.  

“Not if you keep hiding that smile of yours.”

“Say another word, and I’m going to open the window and shove you through it.” 

“So, you can ogle at my ass?”

“ _Eren_ ,” Levi hissed with a blush on his cheeks. 

“Sorry.” 

“Tch. Give me your phone.” 

Eren reached into his pants to take out his phone and give it to Levi’s outstretched hand.  

Pale fingers tapped on the screen to wake up the phone from its dormant state before unlocking the cell phone. There was a picture of the sun, setting behind the calm ocean, and Levi looked at it for a few seconds before clicking on the phone icon to put in his contact information. He saved his number under the name _Levi_. “Here,” he said, handing the phone back to Eren. “If anything ever happens or you get lost in the city or whatever, and Armin’s not around to help you, then send me a text.” 

Eren’s hand burned when Levi’s fingers brushed against his skin, and all oxygen left his lungs when the two boys turned to face each other at the same time. Eren had never wanted to kiss a pair of lips as much as he did now, but he knew that if he were ever to kiss Levi, that the raven-haired-teen would shut him out and refuse to talk to Eren. However, it was Levi’s deep blue eyes that became a slate gray with the reflection of the clouds, bouncing from the windows. It was the suddenly tense atmosphere hanging above them that had the two teenagers leaning in closer and closer until they were a breath away.  

Levi’s sigh was shaky against Eren’s lips, but they never kissed because at that moment, Levi’s eyes widened in realization, and he leaned back to turn away, clearing his throat in embarrassment. Why did this have to happen? Levi wished he never caught the fleeting look of rejection in Eren’s bright eyes. 

» » »

The rain had relented by the time Levi and Eren got home. Kuchel’s car was missing from the driveway, and the thought of being alone with Eren for hours on end until his mother got back home had Levi feeling uneasy all over again. Eren wasn’t a lousy company; though, he wasn’t a good company either if it caused Levi’s heart to stutter and his breath to shorten; it was because of that almost kiss inside the bus that had him having these thoughts. Levi could have kissed Eren on the lips, and that was it; spew some shit and say that he regretted it, and if it hurt Eren's feelings, then so be it because it was already killing Levi just thinking about that awful look of rejection in Eren's eyes. 

It smelled like wet earth, and the breeze passing through their slightly damp clothes made Levi and Eren's skin break out in goosebumps. Levi should hurry and unlock the front door to get inside, but he was dreading the moment the both of them got locked inside that house. Who knew what could happen? Levi wanted to find out, but at the same time, he wanted to head upstairs and hide under his bedsheets after taking a hot shower, of course. 

Eren didn’t seem to be on the same page as Levi because as soon as the lock clicked and the door opened, there was a hand holding the back of Levi's hoodie to keep him in place. "Levi, can we talk?" 

Levi didn’t desire to talk. He wanted to escape, shrink into an ant, and crawl up the wall or something. Levi didn’t have it in him to look up at Eren. He didn’t have the energy to hold an awkward conversation about a kiss that almost happened. "Later," was all he muttered, pushing the hand away and attempting to leave the brunet behind, but Eren cornered him by the stairwell, caging him in with a pleading look. 

"Please, Levi," and it sounded like Eren was begging when he shouldn't be because Levi knew he was going to stay and listen. 

Levi's shoulders fell from their tense position, and he nodded. 

"Look," Eren began to say, taking a step back so that Levi didn’t feel claustrophobic. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable inside the bus; it wasn't my intention to make you feel that way. I know it's hard for you to deal with these situations because I have dealt with them before, but still, I'm sorry."

Levi didn’t bother to look up into pools of green; he chose to stare at the word _Toaster_ on Eren's dark gray hoodie. "I've never had a situation like this because no one bothers to get close to me, so I don't know why you even bother to apologize to me."

Eren scratched the back of his neck out of nervousness. "I don't want you to feel awkward around me." 

Levi scoffed, leaning back to rest against the smooth wall behind him. "I'll feel awkward around you whether I like it or not. We have four classes together, Eren. I'm sure you noticed how fucking awkward I am. I can't hold a damn conversation with anyone without wanting to flee. Being surrounded by large groups of people gives me major anxiety, which is why I'm either alone or with my friends."  

Eren desired to reach his hands out and cup Levi's cheeks. He wanted to tell Levi so many things, but he didn’t know what to say. "I didn't think you would tell me this." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"You look like a reserved person."

"That's because I am."

"Oh," Eren paused, taking a breath to say something else when Levi's forehead fell on his chest.

"Today was exhausting, so let me stay here for a while."

Eren had nothing to say to that, so he relaxed and winded his arms around Levi's waist to hold him. The teenager in his arms hummed in content but didn’t complain.

» » »

Eren found himself sitting on his bed, staring at the case that held his cello. He glanced over at his desk chair and began to think of a song he could play to fill the house with music. It was just him and Levi since Kuchel called in earlier, informing she was out shopping with some friends and wouldn't be back until later. After he and Levi had stepped away from each other, Eren saw that Levi was blushing, and as much as Eren wanted to tease, he thought better of it and stayed quiet. So now that the door to his bedroom was wide open and Eren could see the inside of Levi's room from here, Eren decided to play a song that wasn’t too sad but had a lovely tune. He could only hope that Levi didn’t mind. 

With a made-up mind, Eren stood up and crossed his room to grab his case and unbuckle the clasps so that it fell open and showcased the sleek cello and bow. It had Eren smiling as he took it out by the neck and slid out the bow as well. Tan fingers brought the instrument towards the desk chair so that he could sit down and get comfortable. There was no need for sheet music because Eren used to play this song with his mother during sunny days. If it made Eren smile in those times, then maybe it could bring peace to Levi's heart. 

Eren got into position and hummed the first few notes of the harp before placing the brown bow over the strings to play. The song ' _Rêverie_ ' by Claude Debussy shattered the silence in the two-story house. Eren kept teal eyes trained at the bedroom in front of him while his fingers from his left pressed down on the strings and his right moved the bow side to side. As the song was coming to a close, Eren found himself opening his eyes, jumping in his seat when he saw Levi leaning against the arc of the door with an almost unnoticeable smile on his lips. "Um," Eren blushed, fingers tapping on the strings while Levi watched him with crossed arms. "Not bad?"

Eren had gotten used to seeing smirks, scowls, and grimaces on Levi's lips, but seeing a small smile was new even if he had seen Levi laughing with Armin; it was refreshing to see. It only caused Eren's heart to stutter and beat inside his chest rapidly. He felt nervous all of a sudden, those eyes were analyzing him, they were roaming all over his body, stopping a little to the left where Eren's fingers were still holding down the strings, and then they came back to look into Eren's eyes. 

"Will you play another song?" Levi asked, his gaze falling to Eren's pale gray socks. He felt shy asking such a question, but he didn’t want Eren to know that he liked the song, or that the moment he heard the cello play sweet tunes, that Levi leaned back in his computer chair to close his eyes and listen. He didn’t want Eren to know that Levi abandoned the group-chat to come and watch the brunet play. 

Eren cleared his throat, warmth crawling up his neck to rest on his cheeks in the color crimson. "Any requests?" 

Levi shook his head, blue eyes sliding up to hold Eren's gaze. "Play whatever you want." 

"All right. You can take a seat on my bed if you want," Eren suggested as he mulled over in his head on another song he could play to lift Levi's spirit and make him smile more. 

Levi moved silently across the room to sit in the middle of the bed. He was perching his left arm on his knee to rest his chin on the palm of his hand. In this position, he could see the redness on Eren's cheeks and felt his own becoming flushed. Was it because of him that Eren looked like that? Was it because of Levi's presence that Eren's fingers trembled as he got ready to play? Levi hoped so. 

Again, Eren hummed the beginning notes of the acoustic guitar and began to run the bow over the strings, fingers on the left tapping quickly up and down with quick succession. He moved his body like a wave, shutting his eyes as the guitar played its part inside of his mind. The song became soft before slowly rising in volume. While playing, Eren tried to forget that Levi was on his bed watching him play, and attempted not to mess up. As the song was coming to an end, Eren reopened his eyes to find Levi wholly enraptured.

"Amazing," Levi breathed, beginning to clap his hands. "Who taught you how to play?" 

Eren's laugh was shy, "My mother taught me how to play the piano, cello, violin, and guitar when I was a kid. It was much work, but I enjoyed those days in the living room watching my mother dressed in a light blue dress sway with the music coming from the cello. I was always mesmerized every time she picked up the guitar, or when she sang me lullabies to help me fall asleep." 

"Your mother sounds like an amazing lady."

"Yeah, she was," Eren sighed with a sad smile, moving to get up from the chair to put away his cello and bow back in the case. 

Past tense. Levi wasn’t going to ask what happened. It might be a hint as to why Eren was here in his house.  

Levi tried to lighten the conversation by sharing a little bit about himself, "I taught myself how to play the guitar and piano. I want to play the violin, but it sounds a little hard, and I'm not sure if I'll have the time to practice as you do." 

"Considering you already play the guitar, then it should be easy to play the violin since you hold it the same way. If you want, I can teach you sometime," Eren suggested, coming to sit on his chair again. 

"Only if you have enough patience, then sure." 

Eren beamed. "I have too much patience that it's scary." 

"Tch, we will see about that."

» » »

They were downstairs playing video games when the front door unlocked, and Kuchel called out, "Boys, I'm home!"

Levi nudged Eren who focused on shooting the enemy in the head that the brunet jumped in fright, killing Levi's avatar instead. "My mom's home." 

"Damn, and I almost had him, Levi!" Eren was pouting, pressing on the start button to pause the game and glare at Levi. 

It had Levi rolling his eyes even if he was a little upset that Eren killed him instead. "Oh, quit whining, you damn brat." 

A white flash scared both teenagers, and Kuchel laughed as she glanced at her cellphone with a big smile. "Hi Levi, hi, Eren. I'm glad to see that you boys are getting along!"

"Delete that picture," Levi grumbled, darting away from Eren. 

"You and Eren look super cute!" Kuchel squealed, giggling at the glare her son was giving her. "Keep glaring like that, and I'll send it to Hanji," she threatened with a smirk. 

That sentence had Eren laughing like an idiot, "Your mom is hilarious." 

"Shut up, Eren." 

"But we look cute." 

"Eren!" 

Kuchel watched the two boys with a knowing glint in her eyes. "Wow, I've never seen Levi, so worked up over someone. Eren, sweetie, you're doing great." 

"Mom, please. _Please_ , stop it," Levi whined, bringing his hands up to hide his face behind them. 

"Yeah, I know I'm irresistible, but we have only known each other for two days. Buy me a cup of tea first, and I'll think about it," Eren teased, laughing out loud when Levi punched him in the stomach. 

“Shut it, you damn brat!”

“Oh, your father will be so happy to hear about this,” Kuchel announced as she tapped away on the screen of her phone.  

Eren wasn’t laughing anymore. His chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing from laughing too much, yet when he glanced at Levi from the corner of his eye and smiled, it turned out to be fake because the brunet was anything but happy at this moment. He wanted to go upstairs and fill the house with sad violin notes, but with Levi watching him now, Eren knew that he had to stay.  

“Yeah, dad will be _super_ happy to find out his son is gay.” Levi’s eyes became hard, and his lips set into a straight line.  

“Honey, you’re father has mentioned many times that he doesn’t care about your preference. As long as you are happy, then both your father and I are as well,” Kuchel reassured, putting her phone away in her purse.  

When Levi didn’t say anything more, the short woman sighed and left the living room to head into the kitchen. “I’ll get started on dinner.” 

“You and your dad don’t get along?”  

Levi startled, jumping back when a hand landed on his clothed thigh. “Not always, but we manage since my mom is usually around. Even then, it's a little awkward between us,” Levi found himself confessing.  

Eren looked around the living room, teal eyes taking in the framed photos of Levi and his family. It made envy swirl around in his stomach at the thought of Levi and his parents. “Where’s your dad?” 

“He’s overseas on a two-month trip. He’s coming back in a few days.” 

“You don’t sound excited that he’s returning home.” 

Levi sighed, “I’d rather he stay wherever he is.” 

Eren was quiet for a long while, the hand on Levi’s thigh, tightening the slightest bit. “I think you should appreciate the fact that you have both of your parents around.” 

Levi watched Eren stand up and go back upstairs. He followed the student and rushed to grab the back of his long-sleeved shirt. “Hey, don’t hide in your room.” 

“Why not? Let me be a sad little fuck.” 

The words made Levi’s heart drop. “The day is shitty enough, and I shouldn’t be enough to ruin it further for you.” 

“Levi, I want to be alone.”

“Let’s watch anime together,” Levi suggested, trying his best to steer Eren towards his bedroom. “I’ve got Crunchyroll on my tv where we can watch whatever you like.” 

Eren was stubborn as hell, and it had Levi’s patience wearing thin at the refusal coming from the brunet’s mouth. 

“Please, leave me alone,” Eren whispered, tugging Levi’s hand to make those pale fingers let go of his shirt. 

“I want to be with you. Shit, I mean, let’s hang out together.” 

Eren turned around abruptly to slap, Levi’s hand away had the raven’s blue eyes widening in shock. “Why can’t you understand that I want to be alone, Levi? Fuck off already! Are you always this persistent? When someone says they want to be alone, then you leave them the fuck alone!” 

Getting yelled at made Levi feel like shit. It made his heart squeeze terribly inside his chest. It brought unwanted tears to Levi’s eyes, but he didn’t cry or show emotion until Eren left his presence, and maybe then, Levi held everything inside.  

That night Levi ate dinner with his mother because Eren refused to leave his bedroom to come and eat with them. Levi’s eyes were dull and red-rimmed from the pathetic half-hour he spent crying quietly in the corner of his room. He spent the other half-hour playing the piano to fill his heart with more pain because Levi could never have enough. It was almost a guilty pleasure to find anything that would wound him and make the atmosphere in the house feel dark.  

Levi may be aloof, but he was overly sentimental, and in the darkness of his room where there weren’t any keen eyes, that was where he lets out his emotions.  

Kuchel watched her son pick at his food, never bringing it up to his mouth. “I heard the argument you had with Eren.” 

Levi shrugged his shoulders. “Anyone would have heard it.” 

“Eren has a lot going on—“ 

Levi looked up at that without caring that his mother would see his flushed cheeks and swollen eyes. “Excuse me, mother, for my language, but I don’t give a shit if Eren has a lot going on right now. I was only trying to get him to hang out with me so that he wouldn’t wallow in self-hate, but no, Eren had to go ahead and yell at me when all I was trying to do was be nice to him. You know what? If he doesn’t want to appreciate my niceness, then he can shove it up, his ass!” 

Kuchel was stunned, keeping quiet while watching her son excuse himself and stomp up the stairs. She sighed afterward, pushing her empty plate away. “They were getting along so well today,” she mumbled to herself as she got up to clean the kitchen before retiring for the night.  

» » »

It was in the middle of the night that Levi was staring up at his ceiling filled with glow-in-the-dark stars that someone knocked on his bedroom door. He thought it was his mother coming to talk to him, but when no one came inside, Levi got out of bed to open it. Of course, it would be Eren. Of course, Levi should have predicted this would happen. “What the hell do you want, Jaeger?” 

“May I come in?” 

Levi scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “So, you can scream at me again? Hell no.” 

Eren dropped his head in shame. “Forgive me for yelling at you, Levi. I do appreciate you going out of your way to getting me to do things with you when it’s hard for an awkward person to do. I’m sorry; I feel like an asshole.” 

“That’s good. I hope you hurt, damn idiot.” 

Eren’s laugh was sad, “I don’t know how much more angst I can handle, Levi. I think the barrel is going to overflow and spill.” 

“It won’t spill if we share the same sadness.” 

They met each other’s eyes, and it was back to the scene inside the school bus except that they were now inside Levi’s bedroom in the middle of the night. Here, there were no curious stares or whispers. Here, there was only the light of the looming moon, filtering in through Levi’s curtains and the bright stars on his ceiling. Levi could hear their breathing filling the space between them, and it was like being caught in a magnetic field because Eren was a planet, and Levi was the stray cosmo approaching at a steady pace. They were so close that both boys smelled like minty toothpaste, and the smell of lavender and roses coming from Eren shouldn’t be this addicting, but it was.  

Levi was afraid that this was going to fuck up any friendship or whatever they had built in two days, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care when Eren’s lips were touching his. Lips so soft and sweet, lips that were devouring Levi’s own as if starved from food. Levi made a small sound, and it wasn’t until Eren wrapped his arms around the raven’s waist to pull him flush against his body that Levi surrendered.  

Levi dropped his guard to fist the front of Eren’s shirt and grasped the back of the brunet’s hair to pull him closer. The sound of his bedroom door shutting sounded distant to his ears, but the noises from their mouths moving together had Levi moaning into Eren’s mouth. There was a sharp reminder that his mother was asleep in the bedroom at the end of the corridor, but maybe if Levi were quiet enough, then they wouldn’t be caught.  

All they did was kiss until Eren was picking Levi up to drop him on the messy bed and kiss him until they were both out of breath. Eren’s body was hot against Levi’s, and the press of their crotches had the raven gasping and rutting against Eren. It shouldn’t be like this, but Levi didn’t care what happened right now. He could deal with it tomorrow because all Levi knew was that he needed to feel more of Eren’s delectable mouth on his own.  

The silent clock ticked on by until both Eren and Levi groaned quietly in unison when they reached their orgasms. Eren lay beside Levi, panting for breath, leaning in to kiss Levi’s mouth again until they required oxygen.  

“Levi,” Eren whispered, lips mouthing at a spot on Levi’s unblemished neck.  

“Hah,” Levi sighed, tilting his head to the side to give Eren more access to his throat. He felt uncomfortable at the sticky feeling coating the insides of his boxers, but Eren’s mouth was too distracting for him to get up and change.  

“Levi,” Eren breathed against the raven’s ear, fingers caressing the side of Levi’s cheek. “Do you want to know something?”

Levi nodded, unable to form any coherent words. He shut his eyes at the sting of teeth biting down on the side of his neck, followed by sucking sounds and then a wet tongue soothing his flesh.  

“I regret this.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things between the boys get better, and hopefully, it'll stay that way.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are much appreciated! :)

It was an entire week later, and Levi's mind filled with swarming memories of a night he wished never happened. An evening where Levi let down his guard to someone that played with his feelings. Someone that kissed him like a lover and whispered his name in a soft voice. Naive was all he could think of himself. So fucking childish to believe Eren might have liked him, but no, it was the opposite, and it was all Levi's fault for surrendering himself.

If there was anyone to blame, it was Levi. 

Eren regretted it, and since then, the brunet had not spoken to Levi. They only talked in class when both boys were assigned to work together, and even then, it was fucking hell because all Levi wanted to do was straddle Eren and punch the kid until he bled and passed out for toying with Levi's heart. And yet, Levi also intended to push the damn idiot to the wall and kiss him until their oxygen ran out. It wasn't fair to Levi that he was the one who fell for it; he stepped right onto the chessboard and lost.  

Kuchel didn't speculate anything since Levi made sure to keep his emotions locked away. His eyes stayed the same, cold and blue. His lips remained in a straight line, though if his mother thought Levi barely talked, now Levi was as silent as a fucking ghost. He only left his bedroom in the morning to make the journey down the sidewalk with a silent Eren to the bus stop. Even if they didn't talk, Eren still chose to sit beside him, but the tense silence continued, and Levi remained ignored. 

People at school frequently asked Levi what his relationship with Eren was for the two of them to go home together each day. Levi never bothered with giving them an answer. He would always look away or turn his back to those that questioned and pretend he hadn’t heard a thing. It was rude, Levi knew that, but if they wanted to know that badly, then they could ask Eren and leave Levi alone. Often Levi found himself lost in his thoughts contemplating if it was better when he had the house to himself when his mother was gone, or now that Eren was staying with them. Deep down, Levi despised that he liked the fact that he had somebody to be with even if Eren barely made a sound.  

Levi tried to convince himself that he was confused and that it would be best if he didn’t get used to this sweet piece of life that had him feeling some happiness even if most days dragged on and the wound in Levi’s chest continued to bleed out. It was apparent that no one would be there to patch up Levi’s heart. There was no one; there had never been. 

It shouldn't hurt at all. The pain that Levi felt during the remaining days of the week should have been forgotten in the confines of his mind. Levi could have easily lit a match and burn all those memories. He had done it before, so why should this be any different? Levi should be relieved that he didn't have to interact with Eren anymore; it was what he wanted the first day they met, but if that was the case, then why did his heart yearn for Eren whenever he saw the brunet walking through the hallways laughing with Armin? Why would it bother Levi to see Eren becoming friends with Historia, the prettiest and most popular girl in the school? 

The look that Eren would give to Levi whenever the brunet was around Historia always made Levi feel resentful. Levi had never been jealous of anyone before. Why was he feeling like this over some boy he met a week ago? They kissed, so what? Lots of people kissed, and then that was it! Why was Levi making it such a big deal? God, Levi wanted to laugh hard enough that the tears he had been holding back would finally come out. He had an urge to fall on his knees, slide his hands through his hair and pull. Levi wanted to lie on his back and stare up at his ceiling covered in stars and grasp at his shirt and scream. He wanted to tear his heart out and stomp on it for acting like a piece of shit just because Eren didn’t return his feelings.  

What feelings, though? Levi couldn't have fallen for Eren so quickly; this wasn't some fairytale shit where he was the main character, and Eren was the prince coming to sweep him off of his feet. It wasn't, love at first sight, but damn did it feel like it was. God, Levi didn't want to put up with this. He felt like he was about to go insane thinking about all of this. It was one guy, and Levi knew within himself that Eren shouldn’t have that kind of power to hold him down. So, why did Levi find himself sitting at his desk in the middle of the night? Staring down at his notebook filled with music notes that all sounded like a disaster waiting to happen? How come Eren looked as if nothing had happened while Levi was stuck in, a mind filled with unpleasant memories and a whispered voice calling out his name? Forgetting something like that was hard. 

Levi felt beyond stupid. Suddenly, all those years of being quiet and withdrawn from everyone, Levi found himself craving the company of a teenager with eyes the color of the ocean.  

Levi wondered if Eren kissed him that night to experiment. Levi felt used, and that messed up with his emotions. The burden of sadness settled over his shoulders, lovingly caressing his cheeks and whispering sweet promises of death. Levi was back to his youthful years when the depression was too much for him, and it resulted in him hiding inside of his house for days on end. Not even his friends could persuade young Levi to leave his home. 

Sleeping at night seemed like something fictional. It didn't come easy, and when it did, it was already nearing the time to get up for school. Even if Levi's eyes burned from not getting enough shut-eye, he still forced himself to stay awake when his eyes would close. It was because every time Levi shut his eyes, he would see Eren and hear those three words that tore open his heart. Those three words still echoed in his mind, bouncing from side to side, making Levi remember something that hurt too much to bear. Levi could only wait for the rest of the weekend to pass and hope that when Monday rolled around, that Eren would miss a day, and Levi would be left alone.  

During that same weekend, Kuchel, on an early  Saturday afternoon, took Levi off of his punishment. Levi took advantage of the situation to ask for permission to get out of the house because being inside of this two-story house with Eren made Levi feel uneasy in his skin.  

"Mom, do you think I can go out to the park for some air?"  

Levi's mother was busy baking a home-made blueberry pie for a special occasion; Levi’s father was arriving tonight from his two-month trip overseas, and they were all going to pick him up at the airport in the evening. "Sure, but take Eren with you. The poor boy has been couped up in his bedroom since last week. Something must have happened for him to be this glum." 

Levi's anger returned at full force, but the teenager refused to let it show through his eyes and expression. "Maybe he's asleep or doing homework and doesn't want to be disturbed." _Please, please be asleep._  

"Nonsense, don't you hear him singing from here? Ah, what a lovely voice that boy has." Kuchel smiled as she was sliding the pan inside the oven. "Knock on his door and tell him to come with you to the park. It's not that hard, Levi." 

 _It is when I don't want to be around the kid who caused me pain_ , Levi mused to himself. "Is it wrong that I want to be alone for once? I ride the bus with Eren each morning, and I have him for almost every class. What more do you want from me, mother? I want to be alone." 

"Levi, you need to understand that it's a good thing to have Eren around because if you didn't know, that boy is helping you get out of your shell. It's what your father and I want." 

"Yeah, but what about me? Are you just going to brush off my feelings as if they don't matter?"

After looking over the oven to make sure it was to the correct temperature, Kuchel took off her mittens to approach her son. "Your feelings are important to us, but we only want what's best for you." 

"So, you brought Eren to the house so I could have someone to talk to, hm? I have my friends at school, and they're enough for me." 

"Levi, Eren isn't here because we picked him out for you. Don't make it sound like we adopted the little brother you never wanted. That's not the reason why Eren is here. It's far more in-depth and much more tragic than you could ever imagine. I only wish for you two boys to get along. Do you understand? You're my son, and I've known you my whole life. Stop pushing Eren away. It isn't like you, sweetie." 

"How would you know if it isn't like me? You're always out shopping with your friends, and if not, you're out at your job, and dad is never around. So, tell me, how would you know if I'm always alone in this house fending for myself waiting for mom and dad to come home and ask how my day has been?" 

"Levi," Kuchel began to say, but Levi cut her off. 

"Eren thinks I should be grateful that I have my parents around, but he's wrong because even if you're both living here, it's almost as if you and father don't exist. I'm sorry for cutting you off, but fine, I'll go ask Eren since it will make you _happy_ ," Levi sighed and grudgingly proceeded up the stairs with his heart in his throat. Levi hadn't meant to say all of those things to his mother, but it was eating at him, and Levi couldn't keep it inside anymore.  

Levi felt like he couldn’t breathe, and the anxiety stirring in his stomach did nothing to calm Levi’s nerves. He didn't want to go in there and see those green eyes. Levi didn't want to walk beside a silent phantom that wouldn't acknowledge him. As Levi was approaching Eren's bedroom, the boy was indeed singing a song, but what caused Levi to take a step back was that Eren's eyes were open, and he was looking at the raven with an empty gaze. 

It became a ridiculous staring contest that didn't seem like it was going to end soon. "What do you want, Levi?" 

 _ I want you to talk to me._

"My mom wants you to come to the park with me." 

Eren broke eye contact to turn around and look out the window. A week ago, it was freezing, and today, there was fresh snow on the ground. "You want to go to the park in this weather? Hanji told me that you aren’t fond of winter. Something to do with your ears, I think." 

"That lunatic has nothing better to do than talk about me when I’m not around,” Levi sighed, rolling his eyes and then he replied, “I don't care if you go or not." _Please, say you won't go._  

"I love the snow, so, sure; I'll go. Let me get dressed first," Eren agreed as he spun around to walk to his closet and pick out a set of clothes. 

Fuck, this wasn't what Levi wanted. All he needed was some time to lose himself inside his mind, but now Eren had to come along and crush those thoughts. Levi remained silent and retreated into his room to get dressed as well.  

They met at the bottom of the stairs dressed in their winter clothes. Levi was in all black except for his beanie while Eren's choice of color varied of forest green to navy blue and black. Eren was grinning as he took in the way Levi looked, but his green eyes gave nothing away of what he was thinking. 

Levi had no idea why the hell Eren was smiling at him. Was it his choice of clothing, or was there something on his face? Perhaps something stupid on that brat's mind? It wasn't like Eren was going to tell him anyway. 

Levi decided that he didn't care what occurred between them. If Eren wasn't going to talk to him, then fine. Who the hell cares? Levi knew that he for sure didn't give a shit. He glanced away to put on his snow boots and announce to his mother that he was leaving with Eren and that they would be back later. 

“Be back before 5, Levi! Remember that your father will be arriving at 6:30, okay? Be safe, boys!” 

» » »

The cold air was frigid and biting against their exposed cheeks. Levi stuck his gloved hands inside of his coat, ignoring Eren beside him as he leads the way to the park. It was a ten-minute walk, and Levi was already regretting this, and not all because of the cold weather, but because of the boy next to him. It was as uncomfortable as the time he wanted to apologize to Eren for making him feel bad and had no way how to go on about it. It was like that time only so much worse because they had kissed and done other things.  

It was awkward because Levi still had a hickey on his neck that had yet to fade away. Thinking about playing with his group mates for the show on Friday did nothing to erase that night from Levi's mind. It didn't do anything to get his mind off of Eren. If anything, it only caused his heart to beat faster until all Levi could hear was the sound of the snow crunching under their boots and the blood rushing in his ears.  

There was no one outside; the streets were desolate, and the roads were clear of ice. A blanket of snow stretched out as far as Levi’s eyes could see. It was glistening under the brightness of the gray clouds, seeming to appear wet, dripping droplets of water, creating small puddles of solidified liquid. Levi swerved away from any of them to avoid slipping and falling on his ass.  

Inhaling the cold air felt refreshing and a little painful. Breathing out reminded Levi of a fire breathing dragon. His breath came out in white smoke, quickly dissipating to become part of the atmosphere once more. He almost chuckled at how it must have looked, but there was nothing humorous about it, not when Levi knew he didn't have the energy to laugh. 

"So, Armin called me two days ago to let me know that Mrs. Ral has all the students perform a song every two weeks. Does it matter whether it's played on an instrument, or do we have to sing?" Eren started a conversation as if Levi's mind wasn't in a current dilemma that had to do with the one speaking. 

Levi didn't feel like responding; he wanted to teleport and leave Eren here all alone to get lost on his own. If Levi had to be honest with himself, he couldn’t find a reason as to why he was out of his house at the moment. Levi knew that he despised the cold weather, what with all the snow and cold air to dry out his lips and leave them chapped. Air too cold to freeze his fingers enough that when they fell off, Levi wouldn’t feel a thing. Of course, Levi understood why he was out of his house; it was because he couldn’t stand being inside his room while having Eren right in front of him whether the door to his room was open or closed.  

Clenching his fists inside of the pockets of his black hooded jacket, Levi relented enough to reply to the question Eren had asked him, “It doesn’t matter. You can sing while playing, or you can perform a musical piece. Whatever you want,” Levi replied, snow boots crunching on the still falling snow. The raven-haired teen readjusted the dark gray beanie on his head to pull it down to cover the tips of his reddened ears. It was all Eren’s fault that Levi was out in the cold, going to a park that would most likely be as empty as his heart.  

Eren hummed, glancing up at the misty skies to watch the snowflakes descending from the heavens. He walked beside Levi for a moment, occasionally looking down to see Levi swat away a piece of fluffy ice away from his nose. It might have been cute if it wasn’t for a clear reminder of what happened a week ago in the middle of the night. Eren was left wondering why he had done and said all those things. Maybe that was why Levi had kept to himself for the rest of the days. Perhaps that was why Levi was quiet during every lesson, especially in Music with Mrs. Ral. Both boys were assigned to pick a song to play for their final assignment, but Levi only said one-worded responses that were never enough for Eren. He wanted Levi to talk to him, express himself in the music he enjoyed, but Eren knew he was to blame for the reason Levi was behaving like this. There was nothing he could do at this point because Eren wasn’t sure if Levi would forgive him, and all would be right again. “Do you have a song in mind for this week? It’s already Saturday, and we have her class again on Monday.” 

Levi was silent; the only indication of him being there were the sounds of his boots walking over the snow. “Yeah,” he sighed, blinking, and then stopping by the stop sign to look both ways before crossing the street. The park wasn’t too far now; they had about a five-minute trek to get to their destination.  

“Oh, would we get in trouble if a student decides to sing something that isn’t exactly school friendly?” Eren recognized these streets even if he hadn’t ever lived in this neighborhood. He did remember driving down to get to Kuchel’s house a week before he moved in. Kuchel had told him that her son was staying over at a friend's house and that Eren wasn't going to be able to meet him.  

He remembered that day well enough to hurt still, but even so, the first thing Eren saw upon entering the front door of the Ackerman’s house, was a portrait of Levi Ackerman staring right into the camera with dark blue eyes and his lips parted ever so slightly. The picture was in color, and behind the raven, the sky was bleeding its last colors for the day before the moon took over. It wasn’t the scenery that took Eren’s breath away; it was the pain hiding behind that stoic gaze. What happened that day for Levi to look that way?  

“The song you want to sing has curse words?” 

“No, it has something else that may get me in trouble.” 

Levi shrugged, not caring if Eren got into trouble or not. “Take the risk if you think you’re going to get into trouble.” 

They were nearing the entrance gate to the park when Eren shared his answer, “It seems like you’ve taken that risk, huh, Levi?” 

Eren didn’t get the response he wanted. He didn’t get an answer at all; he only watched Levi walk further away from him until Eren, too, followed behind the raven. Sighing, Eren eventually stopped in front of a snow-covered playground with Levi sitting on one of the swings, legs kicking at the cotton laid out on the ground.  

Eren struggled with his words for a moment. He couldn't find the right ones to form an apology to the teenager sitting on the swing. With Levi dressed in all black, it made him stand out while everything around them was a stark white. Eren never hesitated on anything; when he wanted to say something, he would open his mouth and say whatever it was, but in this situation, it was much more delicate. 

In all of Eren's seventeen years of existence, he had never met someone like Levi. In other terms, Levi was different. Of course, at first, Eren didn't quite like Levi, but he didn't hate him either. They barely had any conversations, and they rarely spent time together unless Eren counted their interactions in class or at the dining table when they ate dinner with Kuchel every night. Eren didn't want to believe that he might have started to fall for Levi this fast, not when things between them were rocky and unstable. 

Eren wanted to say that he was sorry, but every time he made an attempt to broach the topic, Levi would disappear from his sight as if the raven could sense that Eren was going to speak to him. It had come to a point where all Eren felt was an annoyance and slight anger that Levi didn't want to listen to what he had to say. 

Maybe now that they were alone in a quiet park, Eren could finally say what he wanted, but looking at Levi sitting on the black swing pushing back and forth, Levi seemed so calm that the brunet didn't want to disrupt the moment. All Eren did was make his way over to sit beside Levi, teal orbs looking around in search of life. No one was going to be outside in this weather, but Eren still glanced around. 

They spent their time on the swings for the next half hour in complete silence. It wasn't tense in any way, although Eren thought it was. It wasn't easy to speak to someone that didn't want to listen to what he had to say. Eren didn't like that things were going this way because if Eren hadn't said those three words, then maybe he and Levi would have been joking and teasing each other instead of sitting quietly. 

The sound of clothes rustling had Eren looking over at Levi, watching him slide his phone out of his pocket. Blue eyes eventually glanced his way, and Eren cleared his throat awkwardly for getting caught staring. "Um," he stuttered, lifting his hand to scratch the back of his neck and then looking away. 

Levi watched Eren for a moment, shivering when a gust of cold wind blew through his black strands. Levi then glanced away to look down at his phone to check the time; it was still early. Levi slipped his phone back into his pocket and then hissed when he felt one of the cracks on his bottom lip split open. "Shit," he mumbled, letting go of the metal rope to dig through his coat jacket to take out a tube of chapstick.  

Eren tilted his head to the right when he heard a hiss and watched Levi fumble with a chapstick with shaky fingers. Oh, how he wanted to lean in and kiss those lips once more. Eren wanted to feel the soft texture and taste the sweetness that only Levi had. 

Levi wasn't one to enjoy being watched, especially from the boy he likes. "Take a damn picture if you fancy staring at me so much." 

A sudden white flash came from the right, and Levi's head whipped to the side to glare at Eren. "I didn't mean that in a literal sense, dickhead." 

"At least you didn't tell me to delete it," remarked Eren as he looked down at the picture on his phone. It was a candid photo, one that he would never delete no matter how many threats Levi gave him.  

Levi sighed and shook his head while he pocketed his lip balm. "That's because I know you won't listen to me." 

Eren smiled, opening his mouth to let out a soft laugh, "Yeah, you're right about that, Levi." 

No, the way his name sounded rolling out of Eren’s mouth didn't make Levi's heart stutter inside of his chest. "Come on, it's already  3:30 PM, and I'm tired of this damn cold," Levi stated as he got off of the swing to make his way out of the park. 

"Are we going back home?" 

"We're going to the café to buy some tea." 

"So, you brought money with you because I didn't," Eren's smile was sheepish, and the blush on his tan cheeks shouldn't be this cute. 

Levi’s cheeks were flushed from the cold, lips slightly chapped and glistening from the soothing balm covering his lips. He stared up at Eren with a raised eyebrow, trying not to spread his lips too much. “What idiot leaves the house without their wallet?” 

Eren’s face became dark red, green eyes scrunching up as he let out an embarrassed chuckle, “me; I’m the idiot.” 

“You get two points for answering my question correctly,” replied Levi, a smile tugging on his lips until the stinging of the wound on his bottom lip, wanting to split open again stopped the raven.  

Eren pouts, shoving his hands in his pockets and childishly stomping away. His wild hair swayed with the cold wind coming from the north. “Rude,” he grumbled.  

It was ridiculously endearing, Levi noticed, much to his displeasure.  

Levi rolled his eyes, catching up to Eren to grab the hood of the brunet’s dark green jacket to pull him back. “Oi, do you have any idea where you’re going?” 

“It should be obvious, Levi. I’m going to the café you want to go to.” 

“Fine, then lead the way.” Levi stood beside Eren with his arms crossed in front of his chest, waiting for the tall teen to move. 

Since moving into the Ackerman’s residence, Eren hadn’t had the time to leave the house and explore the city or visit any shops since wherever he had to go, Levi had to tag along, and if it wasn’t apparent to Eren or anyone else, Levi bluntly refused to accompany Eren. It was either call Armin and ask him if he had time to go out or throw away his pride and beg Levi to take him out. Of course, in the end, Eren always sighed in defeat and retreated to his bedroom.  

Now that he was standing with the boy he wants to be with, Eren had no idea what to say to get out of this situation. He didn’t recognize anything around him. He’d never been down this street, Eren had never known that this park was here until Levi took him to it. So, in a sudden act of confidence, Eren nearly whined and stuck his hand out to grab Levi’s gloved hand to hold it. “I don’t know where I’m going. Please, take me there.” 

Levi stared down at their laced hands with wide eyes and parted lips. No, he didn’t feel the zap that ran through his entire body, and no, Levi didn’t suddenly crave to be held and kissed by Eren. Damn all of these feelings straight to hell. These growing feelings for Eren were not suitable for Levi’s bleeding heart. Great, and now that Levi had locked eyes with Eren and the trees were swaying and the still falling snow fluttered all around them, Levi wished someone could snap a photo of this moment. Eren’s eyes weren’t guarded this time around; they were open as if he wanted Levi to see right through him. 

Levi found himself leaning forward inch by inch, watching Eren’s eyes turn half-lidded as the brunet tilted his head down to bring his gloveless hands to cup Levi’s flushed cheeks. Levi closed his eyes for a moment, relishing in the warmth spreading through his face and body. God, Eren was so warm; Levi wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the teenager and snuggle into his jacket, inhale his addicting scent and stay there forever.  

“Levi,” Eren breathed his name in a soft voice, thumbs stroking beneath Levi’s blue eyes. Warm fingers tapped at the dark shadows under those blue gems. “Why do you look so sad right now?” _Is it because of what happened that night?_ Eren wanted to ask; he wanted to plead guilty and profusely apologize because he missed talking to Levi. He missed making the raven laugh until he cried. Eren just missed Levi so damn much that he couldn’t fall asleep at night thinking how bad he must have hurt Levi enough to make him go silent again.  

Levi wished Eren couldn’t see past the wall he had tried building around himself all these years to protect his heart from getting torn to shreds. If only Eren were dense and oblivious to everything around him, maybe then Levi could continue breathing and not feel like there was no oxygen to inhale and fill his lungs. “I’m not sad,” he denied, angrily swatting away Eren’s hands from his face. Levi needed to get away before he spilled everything to Eren. “Who said you could grab my hand like that, huh? Hurry up and let’s go.” 

“Levi,” Eren called out almost desperately, reaching out to take Levi’s gloved hands in his own once more. “Please don’t run away from me,” Eren pleaded, shielding Levi from the cold wind. “Give me a chance to explain myself to you.” 

Levi scoffed, pushing Eren away to cross his arms and frown up at the teenager. “Explain yourself to me? Sure, and what more could you possibly say, Eren? You already said everything you had to say a week ago, or did you suddenly get a bad case of amnesia?” 

“No! Just, Levi, please,” at this time, Eren sounded like he was giving up, but the moment Levi met those fiery orbs looking down at him with determination, Levi knew Eren would do anything to get him to listen. 

“What are you going to say, Eren? You told me that you regret it.” 

“I’m sorry I said that.” 

Anger was all that filled Levi’s heart. His mind was something else, though. It only thought about Eren and how badly he wanted to sit down somewhere quiet and listen. “Then why did you wait a whole fucking week to tell me that you’re sorry? You ignored me for days, Eren! You sat beside me on the bus, in class, walked past me in the hallways without acknowledging me like you did a few days before. You acted as if I didn’t exist. Do you know how sorry I was feeling for myself, or how much it hurt me to hear those words coming out of your mouth?” Levi’s breath hitched in his throat, and he blamed the chill in the air for the sudden bout of tears threatening to fall.  

“You’re one to talk! How about that unwelcoming feeling you gave me the first day in your house, Levi? You said it yourself; you told me you didn’t give a shit if I experienced something traumatic. Like, who in their right mind says that to someone? Now, that’s not something nice to say to somebody that has gone through so much tragedy. Do you even have any feelings, or are you just an empty corpse wandering around? You’re lucky I’m even alive, Levi. You’re babbling about being hurt because I ignored you for a few days, but what about me? What about how those words made me feel? Did you ever think of that, or is it only about you? Don’t be so inconsiderate.”

“I’m not inconsiderate, Eren—“

Eren chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head while bringing his hand close to Levi to poke him in the chest with his index finger. “Hah, do you want to go that route and lie to me? We may not know each other for long, but the least you could do is tell me the truth. That afternoon in your house where I debated with myself in the kitchen that I wasn’t crying because of what you said to me, but because of something else; and that day in the rooftop where you told me to fuck off because you hate confrontation? Because you run away at any little thing like some coward. That’s what you are; a goddamned coward!” 

“Shut your fucking mouth, Jaeger. How dare you say that to me? What, so because we messed around now, you think that you know everything about me? Please, you know nothing of who I am. I should be lucky that you’re alive? As if; you’re staying at my house like some stray because you have nowhere else to go. _You_ should feel lucky that you’re living in _my_ house. Otherwise, I would have thrown you out myself because you’re not my problem, Eren.”  

They were both breathing heavily, shivering in the cold as both boys stared at each other for a few long moments. It wasn’t until Levi broke eye contact and started leading the way to the café that Eren clenched his fists hard enough for his nails to leave small crescents in his palms. If Eren hadn’t liked Levi to this extent, then Eren wouldn’t bother to pursue the older boy. He wouldn’t; Eren would leave the problem alone and forget all about Levi, but the brunet knew that he couldn’t do something like that, not when his first thought in the morning was whether Levi slept well. It hurt immensely to hear those words coming from Levi’s mouth, almost as if Levi wanted him gone, to disappear for good. Eren could do that if wished upon him; even if Levi asked him to get lost forever, Eren would do it. He had a method waiting for him in his desk drawer. Eren would need a hot bath, and he’d be good to go.  

There was nothing more Eren could do at this point, all he did was follow Levi at a distance until they finally made it to a cozy tea shop that had a display of sweets hidden in glass cases. Eren saw that Levi opened the door and held it open for Eren to come inside. Well, at least the brunet knew Levi wasn’t that upset with him. Still, Levi shouldn’t have acted so unkindly that to Eren, it bordered on verbal abuse. It wasn’t like Levi told Eren directly to kill himself, but in a way, it felt like that was what Levi said. Eren wished he could shut his mind for the next few decades.  

Stepping inside had Eren scenting the air filled with mouth-watering aromas of loaves of bread, sweets, and tea leaves. There weren’t many customers inside, and the few that were sitting were busy on their laptops, typing away, but it was quiet enough to enjoy the snowy scenery outside without being disrupted with light conversations. Eren followed behind Levi until they approached the counter where there stood Historia with a beige-colored apron around her waist tied at the back.  

Upon seeing Eren, the blonde-haired student smiled brightly, momentarily glancing at Levi with a small grin. “Oh, Eren, it’s good to see you!” 

Eren liked Historia; she was a sweet girl and usually helped Eren with his math class whenever the professor was unavailable. “Hey, same here. I didn’t know you worked here.” 

History beamed, looking down at the screen to tap a few buttons. “I’m sorry, it must have slipped from my mind. But enough chitchat, is this your boyfriend? You’re always speaking about this Levi character, so this must be him, right? I’ve never seen him around the school. Does he go to our school?” 

Jesus Christ, Levi, was going to kill him, and if not, then Eren would gladly end his existence to save himself from this. Eren had forgotten that he spent most of his time in class, talking to Historia about his problems with Levi. “Uh,” he stammered, glancing at Levi, who was standing to the side with an indifferent expression on his face. It was apparent that Levi was either anxious or annoyed with the way his fingers tapped on the counter in an uneven rhythm. “This is Levi and—“ 

“Historia Reiss, close friends with a tomboy with a shit attitude, yeah, we’ve been going to school together for the past three years. Good to know I’m a fucking ghost that not even you, the most popular girl in the school who claims to know everybody, has no idea who I am,” Levi rolled his eyes, shaking his head and digging into his jacket to grab his wallet and take out some money. He slapped it on Eren’s jacket, angrily stuffing his wallet back inside his black coat. “Get me a cup of black tea with brown sugar. I’ll go get us a table.” 

Eren struggled to grab the bills before they fell to the floor and watched with wide eyes as Levi stalked away to the corner of the shop where the raven plopped down on a chair facing away from the counter. Eren dragged his hand down his face with an impatient sigh. He glanced up at Historia, who was watching him and Levi with a look of concern. “As you can tell, Levi isn’t my boyfriend, and before you ask, yes, we’re still having problems.” 

“I don’t know how you made it into your senior year, Eren. It's obvious that he’s jealous of me,” Historia pointed out as she put in Levi’s order, waiting for her friend to say what he wanted. “Do you want the same thing Levi ordered?” 

Eren nodded, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked over at the display filled with slices of chocolate cake and red velvet cupcakes. “Are you calling me dumb? Levi calls me names all the time. Wait, you think Levi is jealous of you?” 

“Well, I’m not saying you’re smart either, but if you don’t apologize for whatever it was that you said to him, then it’s going to be too late, Eren. Get your head out of your ass and man up!” She stood behind the counter and rolled her eyes. "I don't think he's jealous, Eren. I know he is, so again, here we are with me calling you an idiot."

With wide eyes, Eren agreed with a small laugh, “Didn’t think you cursed.” Then the words registered in his brain and Eren frowned. "You think so? I mean, I guess? I can't tell, okay? He gives me mixed signals, and I'm left more confused than I was before."

Historia grinned before it faltered. “I sometimes do but listen to me, Eren. Indeed, I've never noticed Levi until now, and I feel like a terrible person, but from what I'm seeing and sensing, why don't you slow down? It seems like maybe you're going too fast, and Levi's having a hard time catching up to you. Anyway, I think I've taken enough of your time with Levi. Now, go take a seat, and I’ll bring you two, your teas.” 

Historia's words left Eren thinking about what she said. Eren guessed, and maybe somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he was possibly getting ahead of himself. Perhaps the right thing to do was to let Levi catch up to him. Eren promised to himself that he would give Levi time. “Or you call out my name, and I’ll come and get it. Wait, don’t I have to pay first?” 

Historia rolled her eyes, stating the total and taking the money from Eren’s hand. “Just go sit down already before your boyfriend leaves your ass stranded here.” 

Taking the receipt and change, Eren hissed, “Levi’s not my boyfriend!” 

“Not yet,” Historia replied with a wiggle of her eyebrows.  

“What the hell,” Eren grumbled as he made his way to the back of the tea shop to have a seat in front of Levi. “Here’s your change, Levi.” Eren placed the few dollars and pennies down in front of Levi.  

Concerned blue-gray eyes met distressed and pensive ocean-green. “Have fun chatting with your girlfriend?” Levi made no move to gather his money. 

“If you didn’t hear correctly, Historia thought you were my boyfriend.”

Levi hummed, sweeping the money off of the table to put it back inside his wallet.  

Eren sat back, placing his hands on the table while glancing outside and then back inside to look at Levi. “Did you know Historia worked here?”

_If I knew, I wouldn’t have come here_ , Levi thought irritably, glaring at Eren for a few seconds. “Does it look like I know everything?”

“Can’t you answer something in a nice tone for once? It’s not that hard, Levi.” 

Levi glanced away, deep blue eyes focusing on Eren’s hands instead of looking into that teal gaze. Levi was out of line before coming inside the café, and he knew that, but what he said this time was much worse than the first day Levi met Eren. He told Eren to off himself in a subliminal way. It was wrong, and Levi was beyond upset with himself for saying something cruel to a broken teenager. Though, before Levi could utter an apology, Eren spoke.

"Historia told me that she feels terrible for not noticing you before. I guess you wanted to blend in so much with the walls at school, that people looked past you, huh?" Eren furrowed his eyebrows when he realized that what he said came out mean. "Oh shit, I-I didn't mean for it to sound mean, Levi. Fuck, I'll shut up now."

Levi was quiet for a few long moments thinking about what Eren said. Even if it was true, it did make his heart squeeze inside of his chest. Maybe every mean thing Levi has ever said to Eren made the teenager in front of him feel like this, but so much worse. "Look, I don't give a shit if Historia doesn't know who I am, and sure, it does hurt to know that I'm that easily forgotten, but whatever. I'm graduating in a year, and I won't ever come across either of them again."

Eren bit his lip, blinking and then exhaling, "I don't know if this will make you feel better, but these past few days we spent, I-I mean, I spent not talking to you, not once did I forget about you, Levi."

Levi's heart pounded in his chest, and he almost smiled if it wasn't for the reminder of what he said outside. Yes, those words did make Levi feel better, but he wasn't sure if he wanted Eren to know that. “Listen, Eren; I’m sorry for what I told you before. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.“ 

The slight change in those blue-gray eyes of Levi told Eren that those words were appreciated. Though, now Eren wasn’t sure whether to believe Levi or to take it with a grain of salt. “You say that now but I know you’ll relapse and tell me something far worse next time.” 

“Do you honestly think so little of me?”

“You did that to yourself. By acting like that, what else do you expect from me, Levi? You’re not the friendliest guy around, and for sure, apologizing over and over won’t stop this from happening again.”

Levi looked down at the clean tabletop, eyes following the swirl pattern. “Maybe if you didn’t get on my nerves, then this would be different—“

“What you’re saying is that if I act less of a problematic person, then it’ll be all rainbows and sunshine? Don’t make me laugh, Levi. Do you think I’ll believe you’ll come frolicking down a grassy hill with flowers in your hair? What is going on between us isn’t a fantasy; this is real life!”

“Would you stop interrupting me?!” Levi’s voice rose in volume, eyes snapping upward to glare in Eren’s direction. To hell with the other customers in the shop. It always made Levi exasperated when they interrupted him mid-sentence.  

“Not until you quit acting out on me! Stop being so self-centered, all right? Not everything revolves around your feelings, Levi. Stop being a child.” 

Levi held his hand up with a killer glare as Historia approached their table with a tray holding their hot black tea and a slice of chocolate cake. The blonde worker looked around the almost empty shop and leaned down slightly, “Don’t make a scene, or I’ll have to kick you both out.” As quietly as she came, she left. 

Levi slid his cup over to himself and then glanced at the cake and back at Eren. “Did you order that?” 

“It’s for you,” Eren said, pushing the sweet treat forward and placing the plastic spoon beside the plate. 

“You can have it.” 

“You need some sweetness in your life to get rid of all that bitterness.”

Levi scoffed at Eren's response, “Excuse you, you little shit. I am _not_ self-centered. I care about the people around me, it just so happens that you stumble in my life without me knowing and I can’t do shit about it because you’re all I think about, Eren! It’s frustrating, okay? I don’t want you in my head. I want things to go back to how they were before you showed up. Before you, I wasn’t in a constant whirlwind thinking of a boy with green eyes. I wasn’t up at night wondering if you were asleep. I didn't think that I had fucked up, and I don’t know how to adjust to the changes happening in my life.” 

Eren was getting fed up with this shit. It was as if Levi didn’t want Eren to try. It was as if Levi was the one pushing Eren away so that Eren would eventually get tired and abandon all feelings for the raven. “Are you hoping to push me away to the extent that I give up on you completely, Levi? I can only pursue you so much that I’ll lose interest, and you’ll be left feeling as empty as ever. Is that what you want? So, you want to become a little hermit crab and hide in your shell when it’s so fucking clear that you want me, and that I also want you?” 

Levi said nothing to this. He lifted his cup with trembling hands to take a sip of his tea and began to tear off the plastic wrapping to eat his cake. If the cake was for Levi to sweeten up his life, then sure, he’ll eat it for Eren.  

“I like you, Levi, and I’m sorry for telling you that night that I regret kissing you because, in truth, I enjoyed it so much that you were all I thought about for the rest of the night.” 

“Then why say those three words?” 

Eren had no answer. He didn’t know why he had said that. “I’m sorry, Levi. So many things have happened these past few months that I’m trying to sort out my mind, and it’s so damn hard when there’s no one to talk to about this. I can’t go up to you and say, “Hey, this and that happened to me, and I want to die because I can’t handle it,” I can’t, Levi. It’s hard for me, okay?” 

_ He’s been through a lot, Levi. If you were in his shoes, how would it make you feel to know that you’re not wanted anywhere you go? Terrible, right? _

Levi swallowed his piece of cake as he thought back to what his mother had said to him in the kitchen that same night. But what could have happened to Eren? The kid looks fine. He kept his focus on the chocolate cake in front of him because Levi didn't know what to say to make this all better. 

“I want us to be together in every possible way, but you’re giving me mixed signals. I’m confused, and sometimes it looks like you want me to kiss you, and other times, it feels like you hate me and want me gone. Which is it, Levi? Please, I’m already broken inside, but you shouldn’t be able to drain me of everything I have. In this cruel world, all I have is your parents, Armin, and you, Levi. Please, please, won’t you tell me?” 

Tears suddenly filled Levi’s vision until his eyesight became blurry, and water started dripping down his cheeks and on to the table. Levi immediately lifted his hands to hide his face, lips parting to release small gasps as he broke down. “I’m s-sorry,” he stuttered, “I’m not good with handling my emotions, and I tend to push everyone away because I want to protect myself. I thought that by rejecting your advances that maybe you would give up on me, but you didn’t, and I’m grateful for that.”

Warm hands grabbed Levi’s gloved ones to hold them. “Levi,” Eren spoke in a soothing voice, “it’s okay to be scared.” 

Levi shook his head as he opened his eyes to meet watery emerald. “Is it?” 

“Of course, you think people dive straight into a relationship without feeling anxious that things might not work out? Come on, Levi. Even the ones that claim not to feel anything for anyone become afraid at the thought of a love interest knocking on their door.” 

“But we’ve only known each other for almost two weeks, Eren. There’s no way that you love me—” Levi’s sentence was cut off short when he felt his phone vibrate inside of his pocket. He huffed in annoyance and slipped his right hand out of Eren’s to grab the still vibrating device. The time read  4:38 PM, leaving Levi to wonder how fast time had passed. There was a text message from his mother asking if he and Eren were on their way home.  

Damn, Levi had forgotten all about going back home because they were picking up his father. He sent a quick reply and pocketed his phone. “Sorry,” he said, looking up at Eren, who nodded in understanding. “I forgot that we have to go get my dad to the airport.” 

“Ah,” Eren hummed, turning his head to the side and wave his arm to get Historia’s attention. She brought a container and a bag with her. 

“Have a nice evening, you two, and Levi, I hope you can forgive me. I’ll see you at school!”

Eren waved goodbye as Levi nodded silently, and the two teenagers left with their cups of teas in their hands and a bag with a half-eaten slice of cake. “Hey, Levi.” 

“Hm?” Levi looked up to give Eren his attention.  

“I don’t want you to think that I’m in love with you when I’m not. I want you to know that I like you, and I know that you like me too. I would also like to tell you that I’m regretful about what I said that night. Please remember that I didn’t mean it. I know it broke you and it killed me, but I did enjoy kissing you and having you in my arms, and—“

“Eren, your mouth is running off, and you’re not telling me what it is that you want to say. What is it?”

“I, um, I don’t hate you.” 

A pierced eyebrow rose in question. “I don’t hate you either even though you get on my nerves most of the time.” 

“Sorry, but on the bright side, at least I like you and return your feelings. That’s a good thing!” Eren was smiling, scratching the back of his neck as Levi’s blue eyes watched him.  

“I already know that, but what do you want?”

“Uh, come again?”  

Rolling his eyes, Levi shook his head. “We like each other, but where do you want this to go?” 

“Oh, uh, I want us to be together, but the real question is, what do _you_ want, Levi?” 

Since they left the tea shop, the temperature had dropped several degrees, and the wind was so cold that Levi’s lips and body were trembling. He wondered how Eren managed with his bare hands exposed to the frigid air. Levi didn’t want to think about what would happen if Eren were to get sick because of him, so he looked around quickly, blue eyes spotting, a trash can a few steps away from them. He grabbed Eren’s almost empty cup and his own to toss them into the dark abyss.  

“Levi, I was almost finished with that!” 

“Shut your mouth for a moment,” Levi demanded, yanking Eren’s hands forward to stick them underneath his scarf where his neck was warm. “Sweet mother of all ducks! Your hands are icicles! Are you trying to get yourself sick?” Goosebumps broke out through Levi’s body, and he found himself letting go of Eren’s hands to wrap his arms around the taller’s waist to hide his face in Eren’s jacket.  

“Ducks?” Eren ended up laughing, shaking his head as he watched Levi cuddle closer to him. “You're like a damn kitty cat searching for affection. How cute.” 

“And you’re trying to get hypothermia by having your hands exposed to this weather!” Came Levi’s muffled reply as the shorter teen squeezed his arms around Eren's waist.  

“If you want, climb onto my back, and I’ll carry you back home,” Eren offered, stroking his fingers through the short hairs on the back of Levi’s head. He pretended not to hear the low hum of content coming from the raven.  

“Someone’s going to see me,” grumbled Levi as he pulled away to sigh. 

“There’s no one outside, and we have to get going. So, what’s it going to be?”

Eren waited for an answer while Levi seemed to think about it for a couple of seconds. 

A smirk formed on Levi’s lips, and he said, “Kneel down, you pig.” 

Eren snorted, shaking his head as he moved to bend his knees to reach Levi’s height because no way was he going to kneel when there was fresh snow on the ground. “As you wish, master.” 

“Oh? I like the sound of that,” Levi hummed as he climbed on Eren’s back, wrapping his arms around the brunet’s neck and trying not to let his heartbeat rise in tempo at the feeling of Eren’s forearms grabbing onto his thighs to hold him in place. “You better not drop me, or I will slay you.” 

Eren rose to full height and began making the journey back to Levi’s house. Levi barely weighed anything; he was as light as a feather, but damn did it feel good to have that small warm body wrapped around him. “I can’t drop the prince, or he won’t kiss me when we get to his house.” 

Levi might have squeaked when Eren finally stood up straight. “Warn me next time, why don’t you? Who the hell told you I was going to kiss you anyway?” 

“That boner pressing into the middle of my spine,” Eren teased, nearly choking when Levi tightened his hold around his neck. “I’m sorry!” He panted, gasping when oxygen filled his lungs. “Holy shit, I need to remind myself not to fuck with you.” 

Levi was glad that Eren couldn’t see how red his face had gotten. Too much blood inside his head made the rest of Levi’s body feel numb. “Stupid boy,” he mumbled, squeezing his thighs. 

“This stupid boy that you like.” 

“I’m starting to question myself on that.”

"Aw, come on! I’m only joking.”

If Levi got to be like this with Eren for the rest of the year, then he wouldn't mind living with Eren. “It’s fine,” he said after walking in silence. “Turn right, and our house is the pale blue one.” 

_Our house_ , Eren thought with a smile as he happily made a run to the house, enjoying the fact that Levi was yelling at him because he felt like was about to fall at any time, but Eren couldn’t stop the feeling of happiness filling his chest even if just for a moment. 

As they arrived and Eren put down Levi, Levi sighed in relief and then lightly kicked Eren on the shin. “Never again will you carry me. I almost fell on my ass.” 

“But, you didn’t.” 

“Whatever,” Levi replied, stalking off to approach the front door to open it with his keys when Eren took hold of his arm and turned him around to get into his personal space.  

“Give me an answer, Levi.” 

Levi blinked and then swallowed. He leaned in, lifting his hands to cup Eren’s cheeks to bring the boy down to his height. Levi pressed his lips to Eren’s mouth carefully as to not irritate the cut on his bottom lip before kissing the youth and pulling back to say, “I want us to be friends, get to know each other before we dive into a relationship. If you say that you’re going through some tough times, I don’t want us to get too involved in case something bad happens, and it ruins everything. You say that I have no feelings, so I’ll do my best to fix that. It won’t be easy for me because I’ve been this way my whole life, but I’ll try my hardest. Do you understand?”

A smiling Eren was a good thing. “Yeah, I understand, Levi.” 

Levi nodded, turning around to unlock the door and push it open to allow entry into his home. “We’re back!” 

Eren shut the door behind them as they trekked inside after removing their shoes and coats. “Levi.”

As Levi was turning around, he met with a pair of warm lips devouring his own in a series of sweet kisses that made his blood rush and his heart pound in his ears. “Mm,” Levi moaned, stepping closer to wrap his arms around Eren’s waist. 

The sound of footsteps approaching had both Eren and Levi separating quickly from each other. Levi grabbed the bag in Eren’s hand to take into the kitchen.  

If Kuchel noticed that their lips were red and slightly swollen and both boys were heaving for breath, the woman said nothing. “How’s the weather outside?” She asked, smiling at Eren as the boy stepped into the kitchen with reddened cheeks.  

“It’s super cold outside, Mrs. Ackerman, and it’s snowing. Be careful while driving, please,” Eren supplied with a slightly sad smile, taking a seat while trying to be subtle as Levi busied himself with putting away the sweet treat in the refrigerator. 

“I take it, Levi took you to his favorite tea shop?” Kuchel giggled as Levi blushed and then scowled.  

“Don’t embarrass me, mom. So, when are we leaving?” Levi changed the subject quickly to avoid any teasing. He had enough of that with Eren. It had him thinking back to that kiss they shared just now. Not that he didn’t like it, but Levi wasn’t expecting it.  

“Well, it’s already  5:10 PM, so we should be heading out right now. Are you both ready?” 

After both boys agreed, Eren and Levi tugged on their jackets and boots and followed Kuchel out of the house. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I am introducing Levi's dad, Levi's true feelings, and Eren's past (although he doesn't go into too much detail about it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me say that it gets a tiny bit dark, but not too bad. I like angst but not heavy angst.

The ride to the airport was a long and uneventful one since Kuchel mostly spoke to Eren, asking if he liked school and if anything exciting was happening and if he had made any new friends and things like that. Eren didn’t say much since he wasn’t sure if Levi would be okay with Eren announcing they were paired up for a music project. Maybe Kuchel would get upset if kept from her, but until Eren got the okay from Levi, then the brunet would remain quiet about it. Eren did, however, say he met up with his best friend Armin after a whole half-year of not seeing each other. Kuchel was glad to hear that, a smile radiating on her face.

There was still about ten minutes before their arrival at the airport; it made Eren feel slightly nervous for no reason when he wasn’t the one picking up a family member. After all, Eren was the intruder coming to stay in the Ackerman’s home. His hands were on his lap, fingers picking at the skin of the inside of his wrist where very faint white lines marred his tan skin -- cuts from when he had knocked too hard on the window to get his parent's attention, and it shattered, breaking his skin. Others were, for other reasons, a little too sad to explain.

Eren knew he shouldn’t be thinking that way, but the teenager couldn’t stop the images running through his mind. Even if he and Levi had talked things over, it was still a tiny bit uncomfortable between them. About an hour or two had passed since their time spent outside in the snow and the café, and yet Eren didn’t think it was enough to reassure him that Levi wouldn’t suddenly turn his back on Eren. It was something to think about and see that it doesn't happen. They weren’t friends, were they? They couldn’t be lovers, so what were they? Friends with benefits? Of course, not. That would lead to all sorts of problems that Eren and neither Levi needed to be going through.

It was hard, though, because Levi wasn’t an easy person to read. That boy hid his emotions well for the most part, and it was rare that Eren caught him off guard with his heart on his sleeve. Sometimes being around Levi was difficult for Eren because, in a second, Eren could easily fuck things up between the two of them, and they’ll be back to square one. Eren does everything he can to keep himself from going back to his old ways, where he took his anger out by making the other person bruise and hurt. Even if things weren’t okay in Eren’s life, he still couldn’t find it in himself to raise his fist to another human.

Well, aside from Jean, Eren couldn’t imagine himself raising a hand to Levi’s face. He’d shove him away if Levi ever intimidated him to start a fight, but the idea of throwing punches around and blemishing that perfect snowy skin? It made Eren feel uneasy, hands clenching into fists as he tried to sway his thoughts in another direction, one that didn’t fill his chest and stomach with anxiety. It's not the time to dwell on these strong feelings because that’s what his room was for at night.

The feeling of dread was something Eren couldn’t get rid of, no matter how many cups of Linden Tea he drank throughout the day. No matter how much shut-eye he got during the night, it wasn’t enough because he’d wake in the middle of the night heavily breathing as if Eren had run a marathon through the whole city. His lungs sometimes refused to cooperate with Eren, heart pounding in his ears as the heavy feeling settled over his chest and pinned him to the bed. Eren wasn’t sure if that happened because of the tragedy that occurred months ago, or if it’s because of something else. It was a bad feeling that Eren had been getting all week, and he was sure it wasn’t because of Levi.

Still, Eren hoped it would all go away and leave him alone. Dealing with such heavy emotions was too much for Eren’s broken heart. No one could soothe him in the way he was feeling, and if Eren reached out to Levi, what would the raven say? There was nothing that would calm Eren, at least, not if Eren sought out to Levi even if it ended up being for naught.

Now inside this car, where they gave Eren a choice to stay and live, breathe and excel in life, become someone important, someone people want to be around, now was the time to change the direction his life has been leading him. If Eren drowned himself in memories from the past, then nothing would ever change, and it would all haunt him in his dreams. Eren will become an empty shell that only wakes to eat, go to school, sleep, rinse, and repeat.

In need of comfort, Eren reached forward to rest his hand behind Levi’s headrest, fingers lightly brushing against the short hairs on the back of Levi’s head.

Levi visibly shivered, goosebumps breaking over his skin enough that Kuchel noticed her son tremble and turned up the heater. Levi breathed out quietly, tilting his head to the left to allow Eren’s fingers ghost across the side of his neck and down inside of his winter coat. Those fingers were warm, and Levi wanted them to cup his cheeks to bring them close to Eren’s face and kiss those soft lips.

Lost in the feeling of Eren’s warm fingers dragging across Levi’s throat, Kuchel decided to interrupt the silence in the car with a reminder for her son, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you twice about greeting your father, right, Levi?”

“If he doesn’t act like an ass― I mean, douchebag to me as soon as he sees me, then sure, I’ll treat him like a father,” was Levi’s sarcastic answer.

“Don’t you cuss at me, young man. Do you want to get grounded again? I already permitted you to practice tomorrow in the garage. Do you want those privileges taken away?”

Levi sighed, lifting his right hand to his neck to slide his fingers down Eren’s knuckles in hopes of entwining their hands. “Sorry, mother, but you know how dry father is when he sees me. It’s like the moment his eyes land on me; his entire day goes to sh– uh, goes bad.”

Eren sniggered quietly, tapping Levi’s hand and then intertwining their fingers together, occasionally squeezing to calm the raven from cursing out loud. He listened to the rest of the conversation as they were finally arriving at the terminal of Arrivals.

Kuchel maneuvered the car to enter through Arrivals, gray eyes searching for gate F13 and her husband. “Levi, your father is like that because you act that way to him. Anyway, you’ll be sitting in the back with Eren so that your father can sit in the front with me.”

Levi hoped his mother wouldn’t roll down the window at that very moment because every single person outside would burn from the intensity of Levi’s glare. Why couldn’t his father stay at least another week? Why’d he have to come now and ruin everything? “Tch if that’s what you want to think, then sure. My thoughts aren’t significant enough to be heard, but da―“

Levi was cut off abruptly when a warm palm covered his mouth, and the fingers holding his hand tightened. _What the hell, Eren!_ Levi hissed angrily in his mind, eventually relaxing when Eren’s thumb caressed his knuckles to soothe him.

“I’m looking forward to watching you practice for next week with your friends, so would you please calm down?” Eren whispered beside Levi’s ear. “If you upset your mom, then I’ll beat your ass on Friday at the music show. Wouldn't that be a thing? Getting your ass handed to you by the new kid.”

Kuchel lifted an eyebrow at the display beside her. Eren’s hand was covering Levi’s mouth while her son’s eyebrows furrowed, and his cheeks flushed. Something was going on between those two, but Kuchel reverted to glancing around the terminal in search of her husband. It made her extremely happy to watch Levi get along with Eren since her son had a rough childhood while growing up. It was nice to see Levi opening up little by little. Sure, in the beginning, both boys couldn’t stand to be together in the same room, but something must have happened the following days for this cute outcome.

Withdrawing his hand from Levi’s mouth, Eren immediately missed the feeling of those soft lips against his palm. At least, Levi seemed calm even if he was fuming and most likely wanted to smack Eren on the head for cutting him off.

Levi huffed in irritation and crossed his arms over his chest when Eren returned to sitting back on his seat. “I don’t mind if dad sits here,” he responded in a monotone voice, almost gasping when Eren kicked the back of his chair. That little shit was going to get it the moment Levi sat back there.

“That’s good because I’ve spotted your father!” Kuchel beamed, parking her car on the right shoulder, carefully bypassing the other strangers walking across the walkway to get to the parking garage. Kuchel took off her seat belt, hurriedly putting the car in park to dash out of the car and straight into her husband’s arms.

“Gross,” Levi muttered, glancing at his parents hugging and kissing before taking off his seatbelt to turn around in his seat to scowl at Eren. “Next time you put that filthy hand of yours on my mouth, I will end you, Eren.”

Eren smiled sweetly, “Why? Would you rather get grounded again for running your mouth? I saved your ass from getting in trouble! You should be thanking me!”

“Thanking you? Yeah, right, but at what cost, blushing in front of my damn mother? She’s going to think we’re fucking!”

“Oh?” A sly grin spread over Eren’s lips, teal eyes shimmering with mischief. “I bet you would like that, huh, Levi?”

“What kind of shit is coming out of your shitty mouth―“

“The cost of me saving you is this,” Eren smirked, leaning in to grasp the back of Levi’s neck to slot their mouths together in a hungry kiss while the raven was busy stuttering.

Levi wasn’t expecting it, and he wanted more if he hadn’t moaned embarrassingly loud, jolting back when he remembered his parents were outside of the car. Levi gasped when they pulled away and saw the twinkle in Eren’s teal eyes. “You little shit, you did that on purpose!”

Eren smirked, licking his lips while winking at Levi. “Oh, please. I know you like it when I kiss you, especially when you’re not expecting it.”

Levi spun around to take a look outside and saw his parents smiling at each other and then glanced back at Eren. “You can’t kiss me when my parents are outside the fucking car! We’re not even dating!”

“Why not? I thought your dad was cool with you being gay? Anyway, you don’t have to date someone to kiss them, dear Levi.”

Levi’s eyes flashed, and the next thing that happened was the raven lunging to the back seat, hands gripping onto Eren’s shoulders to push the brunet down to the bench. “Listen here, you big oaf. Do not kiss me in front of my parents, or I’ll punch you so hard you’ll wake up 2,000 years from now.”

Eren lay underneath Levi with a smile on his lips, hands coming up to rest on the raven’s waist, fingers slipping underneath Levi’s clothes. “Sounds like fun, when is it going to happen?”

“Eren!” Levi hissed, body breaking out into goosebumps as he moved to sit on Eren’s lap to beat some sense into him when the back door opened, and there were a loud gasp and distant chattering from everyone waiting to get picked up. Levi felt all the blood in his body quickly rise to his cheeks and head and struggled to get off of Eren to hide his face from his parents. Holy fucking shit, why did this have to happen to Levi? Especially in a public place with nosy ass people wanting to take a good look at what was happening! Levi couldn’t feel any more mortified that he was right now.

Eren, too, looked flustered at being caught in such a position. He wouldn’t doubt it if Levi’s parents were guessing they were trying to get down and dirty while they were outside speaking to each other. Okay, not a good impression on the first day of meeting Mr. Ackerman, but Eren figured he could try to salvage the rest of the evening, maybe.

At least, Levi looked just as bad with his pale face, a bright red hue. He looked pissed as well as if this wasn’t meant to happen, or maybe Levi had forgotten about where they were. It tended to happen when both Eren and Levi became lost in their little world.

“Well, this is most certainly surprising. Had I known you two were in a relationship having met a week and a half ago and you’re both already together,” Mr. Ackerman paused, cleared his throat while glancing down at the teenager with a lip piercing on his bottom lip and teal eyes. “I would have told your mother to leave you boys back home to do whatever it is Levi was trying to do. Might I say how improper that is, Levi? You’re in a public place, for God’s sake! Control yourself, boy! I can't have you embarrassing me like this in front of everyone!”

Eren looked away from the tall man and tilted his head back to make eye contact with a few people snickering and glaring. Eren rolled his eyes at that and turned his head to look inside the car, where Levi was deathly silent, pale hands clenched into fists. Shit, Levi was barely holding in his temper, but should Eren try to explain what was going on? It’s not like they were trying to fuck.

“We weren’t trying to have sex in a public place, Mr. Ackerman, and no, we are not in a relationship. It’s my fault that Levi got on top of me had I kept my mouth shut and not teased him, then none of this would have happened.”

“Ah, and you are that Jaeger boy that was aba―“

The man was cut off abruptly by his wife, hitting him on the shoulder and pushing Mr. Ackerman to load his suitcase in the trunk because the security guard was coming to kick them out. “Darling, please. You can talk to Eren in the car.”

After the trunk shut and both Kuchel and Mr. Ackerman were in the car, the car took off back home.

Levi sat beside Eren with his seatbelt on and a look of concern in his eyes. He kept glimpsing over at Eren from the corner of his eye, wanting to reach his hand out to hold the brunet’s because Levi heard what his father almost said, and Levi knew Eren shattered upon listening to that. It made Levi want to shout at his father for hurting Eren’s feelings and for making his smile go away. So, he clenched his fists, took off his seatbelt, and shuffled to the right to sit in the middle so that he could press his thigh against Eren’s in the form of comfort. Instead of staying quiet and minding his own business, Levi chose to speak up because he cared about Eren and didn’t want the teenager to feel any pain. “You didn’t have to say that to him, father.”

Eren’s playful demeanor was gone, lips pressed into a straight line while his hands trembled. He kept his eyes on the seat in front of him, chocolate bangs covering up his eyesight because they were slightly pink and watery. No, he wasn’t going to cry, but he wanted to, and if the man sitting in the front weren’t Levi’s dad, then whether Eren wanted to or not, he would’ve punched the man in the mouth. It wasn’t until Levi shifted closer to him to press their thighs together that Eren sighed then, in relief and comfort, lips twitching to form a smile. Eren let his hand fall open to reveal his palm as an open invitation.

Levi’s hand accepted, and the raven slotted their fingers together, squeezing gently to bring reassurance. They didn’t have to look at each other to know that Eren much appreciated it.

All was well until Mr. Ackerman spoke up once more, “I didn’t get to say anything before your mother cut me off.”

“With good reason, too,” Levi snapped, scowling at the back of his father’s head.

“Don’t start me with Levi,” Mr. Ackerman warned, turning in his seat to look back at his son. Dark blue eyes fell to the place to see two sets of different colored hands entwined. “Not in a relationship, you say, yet you’re both holding hands? Unbelievable,” the older man ridiculed in disbelief, turning away to face the front. “Hm, already defending a boy that came in almost two weeks ago, I see.”

“What does it matter to you if I defend him or not? At least, Eren is around all the time, unlike you. We see you for a while, and then you’re gone, and the moment you arrive, you want us to come to pick you up. You’re a grown man, aren’t you? Call yourself a taxi.”

Eren’s head turned towards Levi, squeezing his hand to get him to be quiet. “ _Levi_ ,” he whispered urgently, tugging his hand when the older boy ignored him. Eren pinched Levi’s skin, and that had the onyx-haired teenager hissing in pain before directing his cold blue eyes at Eren.

“What?” Levi vocalized in a sharp tone, slapping away Eren’s hand to cradle his arm and rub at the sore spot. “It’s true, Eren. My father comes home for two weeks tops, and then he’s gone for months without so much as calling us at home to see if we’re fine. Do you think my family is great? Please, I wish it was better. Eren, this is what a crumbling marriage looks like.”

Eren lowered his eyes, frowning while his bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. “Please don’t argue anymore with your father, Levi.”

Levi relented and quietened down when he saw Eren shield his eyes away from him. He couldn’t stand watching Eren’s hands tremble because of him, so Levi reached out to grab Eren’s hand once more like a silent apology.

“Did you hear that, honey? Levi isn’t as grateful as we thought. At least you have parents wherein other _less_ unfortunate people have no one,” mused the man out loud to get on Levi’s nerves. Luckily, it didn’t bother his son as much, not when he was busy trying to console Eren not to be upset.

That was a low blow, and both Levi and Eren knew that. However, the boys knew they couldn't go up against that man.

“Edward, please would you stop it already? I was expecting you to introduce yourself to Eren, not make him feel bad and then bicker with Levi. I wanted this night to be special because we’ve missed you, but you just had to ruin everything with your big mouth!”

Eren tensed at the loud voice coming from Kuchel and hid on Levi’s shoulder, not caring if they saw him. He squeezed Levi’s hand as if strangling it would make the tightness in his chest and throat go away quicker. Eren wasn't anticipating this at all, and now he couldn’t wait to go back home and hide in his room, and if not, convince Levi to leave the house because if Eren has to live through this nightmare all over again, he wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“I wouldn’t be saying anything if those parents of this child took better care of him! What, this boy can’t handle an argument between father and son? He should be used to it by now, right, Eren? From what my wife told me, your parents argued every night because of you, and then they left you and were―”

Levi’s eyes widened, a low gasp falling from his lips at the sight of Eren sitting up straight to lunge towards the front seat. “Oi!” Levi yelled, grabbing the back of the brunet’s jacket to hold him in place. He wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist, head almost hidden in the youth’s neck. “Stop it, Eren. Just like you told me to calm down, I’m telling you to sit the hell down and control yourself!”

“Are you hearing yourself right now, Levi? Do you expect me to sit here and listen to your dad talk sh– bad about my parents?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Levi seethed, nudging Eren on the ribs.

“Doesn’t matter?” Eren raised his voice, tears about to roll down his cheeks. “How can you say that to me?”

“Just shut up, Eren.”

Mr. Ackerman turned in his seat once more to cause more trouble, but Kuchel slammed the breaks hard enough to jerk everyone forward. “Listen well, all of you. I do not want to hear another peep coming from either of you! Especially you, Edward. I’ve had it up to here with you and Levi quarreling back and forth for years! All I wanted was to get the family together, including Eren, and all you two have been doing is making it worse for the poor boy!” Kuchel turned in her seat to glare at her husband. And then at her son, who was holding a fuming Eren. “I’m sorry about all of this, Eren.”

Eren’s chest felt tight, and the breath in his lungs was close to none existent. He wanted to get out of this car without Levi and take a long way home. It didn’t matter where he went, but Eren wanted to leave right now because the walls were closing in, and panic was rising in his chest. “Please give me permission to leave your car and go home. Please, Mrs. Ackerman, I-I can’t be in here right n-now,” Eren’s voice shook as he began taking deep breaths. He pleaded desperately with his eyes, hand grasping the door handle.

“Now you’ve done it, Edward,” Kuchel scolded, leaning forward to cup Eren’s cheek to stroke his skin. “Of course, sweetheart. I’m sorry for all of this, Eren. I’ll see you at home.”

“You can’t let this brat go home alone, Eren doesn’t even know where we live!”

“Then quit whining and go with him, Levi,” Kuchel snapped, frowning at her son to get a move on and go after Eren. “Go before I ground you again.”

Levi glanced at his father and then at his mother with cold eyes, shaking his head as he took off his seatbelt and pressed the red button to eject Eren’s safety belt to leave the car together. Levi watched his mother’s car drive away and knew that whatever his mother planned for tonight would not be happening. Levi would have to find something to do with Eren until then. Because if the argument in the car said anything about Eren, it triggered something in the brunet, an anxiety attack. As if the cause of all of this was because of a heated argument between Eren’s parents.

The sun was beginning to set, and maybe Levi would have been annoyed that he and Eren had to walk home in this cold ass weather, but Eren’s loud gasps and heaving breaths pushed all of those thoughts away. Right now, Eren was more critical than the frigid wind biting at his exposed cheeks. “Eren,” Levi called, hurriedly making his way to Eren to grab his hands and pull them to his chest.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Eren cried out, pushing Levi away as he gasped for air. Eren placed his hand on his chest to calm his breathing, but his mind was elsewhere, his mind racing through hazy memories of his parents arguing every night and Eren dealing with it while sitting at the corner of his room with his head in between his knees. “Please s-stop,” Eren gasped in between breaths, shaking his head while tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’ll be better,” he cried, sniffling.

“Eren…” Levi trailed off, stepping close to wrap his arms around Eren, whispering soothing words to calm him down. “Breathe, Eren. You need to breathe. Come on, in and out. Everything’s okay, I’ve got you.” Levi rubbed Eren’s back in slow circles until Eren’s breathing evened out.

“You don’t have me, Levi,” Eren whispered in a shaky voice, hands pushing the shorter male away. “You never had me,” he hiccuped, wiping his tears away. “Why would you tell me that it doesn’t matter if your dad talks shit about my parents?”

Levi bit his lip, looking away in guilt as he recalled saying that inside of the car. “It does matter, Eren. It matters so much to me, but I couldn’t stand to see you in misery every time my dad said something far worse. I’m sorry for what I said.” Levi glanced up at Eren, finding the brunet looking down at him with wet cheeks and a runny nose. “All I do is fuck up, huh? I’m no better than the scum that I already know.” Levi shrugged his shoulders sadly, sticking his hands inside of his jacket and looking away.

Eren let out a shuddering breath, sniffling and wiping his tears away. “It doesn’t matter,” he replied in a low voice devoid of emotion. “Let’s walk back before it gets colder out,” Eren sighed, tightening the scarf around his neck and then stuffing his hands in his pockets to leave the spot they were standing at for a while. “Come on; I know how much you don’t like the cold.”

Levi watched as Eren walked away from him, tiny snowflakes catching the tips of Eren’s brown hair. The way the wind blew and ruffled the frayed ends of the faded navy blue scarf had Levi gazing up at the gray skies, blinking away the minuscule-sized particles of frozen water attempting to get into his eyes. Blue eyes traveled back down to land on Eren’s retreating form, and it felt like all the strength had left Levi. The further Eren got, the harder it was for Levi to breathe; the harder it was to move his legs to follow. Levi stretched out his hand, fingers grasping nothing but air. This feeling of sudden loneliness coming from the deepest part of his mind held Levi in its arms, refusing to let go. It would have suffocated Levi if Eren hadn’t turned around to call for him.

“Are you coming?” Eren asked, raising his eyebrow in question. He fully turned around and motioned with his hand for Levi to come towards him.

Levi’s lips parted to utter an apology, but the words refused to come out, and that irritated him to the core. Why was it always hard to say that he was sorry when it came to Eren? Was it because Levi was afraid he would mess up in front of Eren enough to destroy whatever they had between them? Perhaps Levi dreaded the day that Eren realizes he’s hated Levi all this time and only put up with the raven because Eren was staying over his house.

“Levi,” Eren called, breaking the shorter teenager out of his thoughts. “Are you okay?” Eren looked concerned when he should’ve ignored Levi, should have gone the other way and kept going.

Levi should have stayed home with Eren, and then none of this would have happened. He could have avoided these stupid arguments that occurred every time his dad came into the picture. Levi shook his head, eyes falling to the fresh snow that covered the ground. He didn’t know what to say to make it better, so he made his way to Eren with his head down, black bangs shielding his eyes from the brunet.

Eren’s eyes fell on Levi’s short form for a moment, chewing on his lip in contemplation. He cleared his throat and put his arm over Levi’s shoulders, hand patting Levi’s right arm in comfort. “I need your eyes to guide us home, so will you please raise your head and lead us back? It’s cold out, and I’d preferred if we didn’t freeze out here.”

Levi welcomed the weight on his shoulders and relished in the warmth it brought to his body, but it still wasn’t enough. “I’d like that over going home any day,” replied Levi with sadness, lacing his voice. “It’s better than staying in a house watching the parents that raised you, pretend to be happy when in reality all hell is breaking loose, and you can’t do anything other than watch as it unfolds. All of this is just a snippet of my life, Eren.”

“Do you want a pity party? I can gather some flowers from your mom’s indoor garden to bring. I’ll get Hanji to become a priest so that she can pray for your soul,” Eren said in a teasing voice after four minutes of silence in an attempt to make Levi feel a tad bit better. The sun had set now, and the street lamps had turned on to light up the sidewalk and lightly crowded streets. Groups of people huddled in front of the entrance to a restaurant, all bundled up in their most beautiful clothes and cozy jackets and scarfs. Eren had yet to remove his arm from Levi’s shoulders, and Levi hadn’t said anything about it.

“Shut the hell up, Eren. Hanji won’t be invited to my funeral because, for all we know, she’ll bring me back to life. I don’t want anything,” Levi spoke so low that Eren almost didn’t hear him. “I just want to go home and sleep until I wake up in a different life with happier parents, and if I can’t have that, then fine, I’ll be on my own. Fuck, I sound like a fucking― tch, I don’t fucking know.”

They passed by a small park littered with ugly snowmen and a frozen lake. With the yellow glow coming from the lamppost, the white snow looked as if the sun itself was resting over it, glistening from the light reflecting off of the ice. Eren continued to sniffle, exhaling as he listened to Levi talk, “You’re making me sad, Levi.”

“Yeah, so? I thought you already were, so what difference does it make if you get sadder? It’s not like it’s going to change anything!”

“Why are you getting angry?”

Levi halted in front of the exit of the park. Then, he moved to stand in front of Eren, hands on either side of his body clenching into fists. “Because you should be ignoring me for everything I said in the car! Why are you so fucking forgiving, Eren? Why do you continue to brush off everything I do to you? Do you enjoy the pain that much?”

“You want me to get mad at you and ignore you is what you’re saying? Why the fuck should I listen to you, huh?” Eren sputtered, eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms over his chest. “No, I don’t enjoy pain! It’s just―it’s you, and I-I don’t know!”

“I don’t understand why you’re like this to me. Is it because you have feelings for me that’s stopping you? I’m not a child, okay? I can handle it!”

“No, you’re not a child, but you have emotions, and I don’t want to hurt you!” Eren scoffed as he remembered how bummed out Levi was when Eren ignored him for days on end. “You can handle it? Yeah, sure, I’ll believe that. Don’t you remember those days you spent moping because I didn’t even look your way? You call that handling it, Levi? That’s what someone pathetic looks like.”

“But I hurt you all the fucking time because I can’t control myself when it comes to you! I don’t fucking know why I’m like this, why my heart stutters when you come near me, why the hell my breath leaves my lungs when you speak to me! You take everything I throw at you like if it's nothing! It’s not okay, Eren!” Levi’s eyes were bright under the light of the streetlamp, alight and burning with fury.

“Pathetic? What about you, Jaeger? Do you think I haven’t noticed those weeping noises you make at night? I hear you cry nightly, and in the morning, you look like a fucking corpse barely coming back to life! You try so hard to be some kid with a tough attitude when you’re not. You’re just some―“ Levi cut himself off abruptly when he realized he was going too far with this. “Forget it. Arguing with you right now is not what we need.”

“It’s not easy to ignore you when you’re right fucking there every damn moment. We live together, Levi! I see you everything fucking day, sit with you on the bus, talk to you during classes. You’re everywhere I go! What else do you want me to do? Should I disappear and fuck off to space so that you never have to see me again?” Eren stepped closer until they were so close that their bodies were almost touching. “Go ahead and say it, Levi. What are you going to tell me, hm? That I’m a homeless orphan with no parents? Am I a stray leeching off of you and your family? Go on and say it! You said I like pain, right? Say whatever the fuck you want!”

“Wait, Eren, no,” Levi reached out to grasp Eren’s jacket when the taller teenager stepped back to wipe at his eyes. “I’m sorry for saying all of that. I’m sorry,” his voice broke, chest rising up and down quickly as he inhaled cold air into his lungs. “I don’t want you to disappear; I want you to say here with me.”

Eren was sobbing into his hands, fingers slipping through his hair as he leaned towards Levi and wrapped his arms around the raven’s waist to hold him. He didn’t have his parents, but he did have Levi to comfort him enough to calm down. “I’m sorry, too,” he mumbled into Levi’s beanie. “I’m sorry for saying all those things to you, I-I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s fine, Eren. We’re okay, so don’t cry anymore,” Levi reassured, rubbing the back of Eren’s puffy jacket until the brunet calmed enough for them to make the rest of their journey back home.

“Sorry, Levi, but I can’t help myself when it comes to these kinds of things. I can’t become someone that locks their feelings away until it gets so bad that they end up breaking down in front of everyone.”

“You mean someone like me?” Levi sighed, steering Eren away from a patch of slippery ice. “I won’t get offended if you’re referring to me.”

Eren apologized again in embarrassment, cheeks becoming more flushed than the cold wind biting at his exposed skin. “I don’t mean to single you out like that, but yeah, someone like you.”

Levi shook his head, clicking his tongue. He stuck his hands inside of his jacket, shoulders rising when a particular gust of cold wind blew through his hair, making goosebumps rise on his skin. “Damn this cold ass weather. Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? I’m not upset that you’re calling me out or anything. I’m madder at the fact that my dad is a huge fucking asshole, and if he weren’t related to me, I would have kicked his ass and send him flying to the moon, and you know what? That’s being nice because the moon is too close to Earth.”

That had Eren cracking a smile and laughing lightly at the sight of Levi grumbling and arguing over which planet he would send his father to stay. “How do you do it, Levi?”

It broke Levi out of his musings to tilt his head and glance up at Eren. “Do what?”

“How are you able to hold in all of your emotions? I mean, doesn’t it stress you out when you have no one to talk to about these things? Ah, um, sorry. I don’t want to pry into your private life, but I’ve never met someone like you that tends not to show their emotions or if and when they get hurt, they, I mean, you pretend that nothing is wrong. Why do you do that?”

Levi swallowed, looking away from Eren and the pieces of ice sticking to the top of his hair. With the lampposts on and shining down on Eren, it almost made the brunet resemble an angel without the halo over his head and the white wings sprouting from his back. Levi scoffed then, pulling his hands out of the warmth of his pockets to cross them over his chest in an attempt to hide from Eren’s eyes. Levi wasn’t sure why he felt so exposed just hearing those words coming out of Eren’s mouth. Was it because someone finally noticed that Levi wasn’t as okay as he made himself to be?

Eren, someone that came into his life not too long ago, could already read Levi like an open book, terrified Levi in all senses. Not only that, but for Eren to get under Levi’s skin and imprint his whole self into Levi in so little time, the short teen hadn’t a clue how to deal with this onslaught of emotions that appeared out of nowhere when Levi wasn’t expecting anything. It was all so new that Levi had no idea what he was doing or what he was supposed to be doing.

“Why do I do it?” Levi repeated the question with a heavy heart, deep blue eyes staring ahead to the corner of the street where a flower shop sat in the dark with pretty flowers hidden away. Levi thought back to all those nights he spent inside his room with a pen in his hand and an open notebook with neat handwriting and dried up spots from when his tears had nowhere else to go but fall on the filled pages. “Don’t I get stressed when there’s no one to talk to about it?” Levi laughed weakly, his voice shaky and on the verge of breaking.

Those haunting thoughts of never-ending days filled with loud shouts and furniture thrown around the living room were memories Levi never wanted to revisit. He had locked those terrible days in a metal box and stored it in the darkest corner of his mind. “How do I do it, you ask? It’s simple, Eren. Do you think I’m like this all the time, just a stoic mask with no emotions? Do I hurt and feel like my heart is breaking, and no one understands what I’m going through? Of course, I do. Doesn’t everybody feel, Eren? Do you think at the end of the day I stay silently in my room sleeping peacefully? No, I don’t. I lie awake at night, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling unmoving so that the tears that leave my eyes and slide down the sides of my cheeks and into my ears have somewhere to fall. Am I a happy teenager? No, but do those even exist nowadays?”

By now, Eren could faintly recognize the two-story houses in the distance with their black gates and white mailboxes. The snow proceeded to fall from the sky, covering everything in white fluff. The boy walking beside Eren was crying by now without leaking any saltwater from his eyes. Eren exhaled out a breath that turned into translucent smoke and came to a stop in front of Levi’s house. The lights were on, and two cars stationed in the driveway, and yet instead of expecting silence to indicate that everything was all right between Kuchel and Edward, Eren could hear muffled shouting. He flinched, grimacing as his heart began to speed up inside of his chest.

Glancing at Levi was heartbreaking. The teenager’s cheeks colored from the cold, but his eyes were slightly big and filled with dread. “Levi, look at me,” Eren commanded in a soft voice, extending his hand out to place it behind Levi’s head, fingers gently touching the exposed skin of Levi’s neck. “I know things aren’t okay as of now, but with me here, I won’t let your dad upset you further, all right?”

 _I should be saying that to you_ , Levi thought, blinking for a few seconds and then lifted his blue eyes to look at Eren. His bottom lip trembled, and Levi bit it to stop himself from breaking down into tears. “Eren, I–“ Levi began and then cut himself off when a strangled whimper left his mouth.

“You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. Look, my house had a basement, does yours have one too?” Eren asked, returning his hand to his side to instead reach out to grab onto Levi’s hands and hold them in his.

Hearing Levi’s dad yelling at his wife was something Eren didn’t want to hear, and he knew Levi didn’t want to either.

Clearing his throat and sniffling, Levi nodded his head. “Yeah, there’s a door under the staircase that leads to the basement. My mom made it into a separate room in case my friends ever decide to stay over.”

“Is it soundproof?”

Levi lifted a pierced eyebrow in question. “Yeah, it is.”

Eren nodded, sighing in relief as he interlaced his and Levi’s fingers and tugged the raven towards the black gate to walk up the pathway to the front entrance. “Let’s stay there until your parents calm down, okay?”

“If they ever do,” muttered Levi as he took out his set of keys to unlock the front door. As soon as the door opened, both boys started when yelling came from the distance. Levi sighed in exasperation, clenching his teeth and tightening his hold on Eren’s hand. “I can’t fucking believe they’re arguing again, and in front of you, no less.”

Eren remained quiet as he and Levi took off their shoes at the doorway and quietly made their way to the basement door without being noticed by the adults. The door opened without a sound, and both boys disappeared behind it, shutting it without making noise, even going as far as locking it in the process. If Levi’s parents wanted to get inside, then they could always send Levi a text.

Levi let out a sigh of relief as he flicked on the light on the stairwell that turned on the rest of the lights as he descended to the ground floor with Eren trailing behind him. “This is where Mike and Hanji stay when they sleep over my house. Sometimes I stay down here with both of them instead of sleeping separately,” Levi found himself confessing to drown out the silence surrounding the two of them.

“That’s nice, uh, my house had four bedrooms, but one was for my parents, another one was the music room, and the other was my bedroom, plus the basement which I never stepped foot in there,” Eren stated as he glanced around the spacious room with curious eyes. He turned to watch Levi make his way over to the black couch at the far end of the place to grab the remote and switch on the television.

There were two full-sized beds dressed in gray sheets and blue pillows beside each other with a small bedside table in the middle. There was a door that Eren assumed led to the bathroom and shower. Green eyes roamed over the spacious basement taking in his surroundings. At the corner of the room was a sleek grand piano that was calling Eren to come and play it. Perhaps if things got worse for them both, then Eren would sit and perform calming melodies.

“Why not, are you afraid of the dark?” Levi asked with a small smirk forming on his lips as he took off his jacket and scarf to place them neatly on the loan sofa chair located beside the television.

Eren saw this and made his way over to sit close to Levi with a scowl. “I’m not afraid of the dark,” he replied with a small pout, sliding his hand through his brown locks to tousle his hair.

“There has to be a reason as to why, right?”

“Wrong, it always felt eerie down there for some reason.” Eren shrugged his shoulders as he took the remote from Levi’s hand and fiddled with it.

Levi hummed, hurrying to the corner of the couch to give Eren some room to sit down. "What about the fourth room?"

"Hm? Oh," Eren paused, clicking on the mute button to put the television on silent. "I guess you could call it a guest room, but my mom used it often when she and my father argued. It eventually turned into an office for my father, but even then, it was some safe-haven for my mother whenever she wanted to get away."

"I see. That's what your bedroom used to be before you moved into my house. Though if my parents do fight over stupid shit, then they can easily get into their cars and leave the house. I suppose it's better because then I can stay in a peaceful atmosphere and not feel that shitty tension in the air."

Eren shifted in his seat to gaze at Levi for a moment. The silence in the room was slightly deafening, but it was comforting knowing that Levi was down here with him even if the gates of hell were wide open upstairs. "Levi, it's my fault that your parents are arguing because if I weren't here, then everything would be fine--"

Levi shook his head as he sat up to get on his knees and place his hands on Eren's shoulders. "No, Eren. You can't blame yourself for everything that happened in the car when I already told you that my parent's marriage is falling apart. It's bound to happen every time my father comes back home from his work trips. My life is complete shit, and you being here has nothing to do with it, okay?"

Eren swallowed and closed his eyes, leaning into Levi's touch. "I don't want you to hurt, Levi. I know what it's like, and I hate it that you have to go through it, too."

"Eren," sighed Levi, moving closer to hold the brunet in his arms. “Listen, not every family is picture-perfect; you know that, right? Everyone has problems either with themselves or their parents or just in general. Yeah, it’s shitty that I have to go through this, but what can I do, Eren? There’s nothing for me to fix when the problem lies between my parents. I’m always dragged into the arguments. As if my father wants to place all the blame on me. As if their marriage is falling apart because of me. It’s always ‘ _Levi doesn’t appreciate anything we do for him_ ,’ or ‘ _Levi wasn’t supposed to be born and now that you gave birth to_ this _human, look at all the shit that has come our way!_ ’” Levi’s laugh was weak and shaky as he stared into Eren’s sorrowful-filled eyes.

“If it’s not clear enough for you, my dad loathes me, Eren. He can’t stand to see me and only pretends to love me because of my mother. We don’t get along at all and the times that my mom is away at work and I’m in the house with my father, do you think he gives a fuck if I’m alive in my room? No, he’s always in his bedroom or sitting in front of the television drinking alcohol when his only son is up in his bedroom feeling sorry for himself! Tch, imagine the look on his face the day he finds me slumped over my desk with that unfinished letter in my notebook filled with dry teardrops,” Levi scoffed, blue eyes brimming with tears. “I bet he’ll be happy that I’ve finally killed–“

“Stop it!” Eren shouted, quickly sitting up to push Levi away from him to grasp his shoulders and pin him to the couch. “Are you even listening to what you’re saying right now?! What the fuck are you saying, Levi? You can’t think so darkly like that! What about me, huh? Am I not enough for you to stay?”

Levi didn’t bother struggling to get away from Eren’s hold; instead, he lay there and began to laugh hysterically, cheeks flushing red until his eyes watered and the stream of never-ending tears fell from his eyes. All those years of holding in and locking away his emotions found a way to break out of the confines of his heart and mind and into the open for Eren to see Levi break down into nothing but a hollow shell. “Now, why would you want to be with someone like me, Eren? I’m no one to my father, so why should I suddenly become someone to you? Oh, is it because you think I’m lovely to look at, hm? Let’s face it; I’m a nobody. I mean, not even my father wants me!”

Eren’s eyes clouded with pain and a hint of a pity since he could feel for Levi. “Listen to everything you’re saying right now. Do you think that lowly of yourself as if you don’t mean anything to anybody? Look around you, you idiot! You have friends who are there for you whenever you need them, okay? They love you even if your father might not. You have people that will come to your aid should you need it, but me? I have nothing, Levi. Do you understand what nothing is? Zero! I lost both my parents in a tragic accident after they got rid of me, abandoned me, and gave me to your mother without me having a say in it, all right? I watched my parents die in front of me while they made a run for it after dropping me off at your house. I watched them get hit by a truck and die on impact! At least you have a family because I have no one left!

"So you want to throw a fucking pity party for yourself because you’re own father despises you? What’s the worst that you can do, hate him back? I wish my parents loved me, but they didn’t! They only pretended to love me so that when I became older, the pain wouldn’t be as bad when they finally get rid of me, but you know what? It fucking backfired on them! Look at me now, Levi,” Eren cried, sadly smiling as he laughed. “Look at me and tell me that it would have been better for you to exit this cruel world, and I won’t bother you with my presence anymore. If you think that way, then please don’t lie to my face and tell me you have feelings for me when you’re showing me what it is that you truly think about all of this.”

The silence that settled between Eren and Levi was in no way tangible. It stayed for minutes, stretching far enough for half an hour to go by while both boys looked anywhere but each other’s eyes. Who knew how long it would take for Levi to say something finally, but Eren wasn’t sure if he had the patience to sit around and wait for Levi to speak.

Honestly, Eren was tired of everything that happened today, and now that he spilled everything to Levi without wanting to, Eren had no clue how to keep himself awake in this tense silence that didn’t seem like it would break anytime soon. It was uncomfortable and frustrating enough for Eren to sigh in exasperation and release his hold on Levi’s shoulders. He watched with a fed up gaze as Levi’s tired, red-rimmed eyes watched, his every move, not bothering to reach out to stop Eren from getting up from the couch. “If you’re not going to say anything, then I’m going to use one of these beds to go to sleep. I’m drained emotionally, and it’s apparent that you don’t give a shit about the feelings I have for you, so whatever.”

Levi wondered when the empty, soul-crushing feeling arose inside of his chest. And when the sound of his heart cracking and falling out of his body happened. Raising his eyes to stare up at the light gray ceiling, the raven-haired teen released an unsteady sigh as warm tears ran down his cheeks and fell onto the couch. A hitching gasp and Levi broke down into sobs all over again that resounded in the spacious room, bouncing from wall to wall and filling up space with heart-wrenching cries. It felt as if someone was digging claws into Levi’s body and tearing out his soul.

Levi felt so empty and drained of everything. Even if it seemed like he was giving up on himself and Eren by remaining silent, Levi wasn’t because with the little strength he had in his body, he forced himself to sit up and stumble into a standing position. Levi found Eren shedding his winter clothes and scarf and moving to get under the covers. “Eren,” Levi whispered, walking on shaky legs towards the brunet to reach him before the covers became a barrier.

Eren heard his name coming out as a whisper from Levi’s mouth, but he didn’t dare to turn his head to indicate that he was listening. Why should he when after all this time Eren was being led on by Levi? All this time wasted on something that wasn’t ever going to become something more — made to believe that after everything, Levi cared about him? Of course, Eren would disregard Levi and get under the covers to block out Levi entirely with the help of a gray blanket.

“Eren, don’t ignore me, please,” Levi pleaded, wiping away his tears and the water running down his nose. “I had those thoughts before you ever stepped foot into my house before you ever came into my life unknowingly changing it for the better. Since meeting you, I haven’t considered ending my existence because I can’t bear the thought of leaving you behind with echoes of me in this house. I can’t even imagine what grief you have of losing your parents in a day, but losing me as well? Someone who deemed himself as a nobody that was better off dead to someone who has met a boy that thinks otherwise of me? I’m sorry that I said those things to you. I’m sorry, Eren. I’m so fucking sorry,” Levi sobbed angrily, hissing through his teeth as the tears continued to fall from his eyes.

“I can’t do anything right because all I’m good at is upsetting the people I care about, and even so, you still want to be with a fuck-up like me.”

Eren heard Levi say that in an unbelieving voice and halted the movement of getting under the covers to turn his body around to indicate that he was listening to Levi. "Let's not argue with each other anymore, Levi. Clean yourself up and go to bed," was all Eren managed to say without turning to show Levi his face.

"Is that all you're going to say to me after I have spilled my darkest thoughts to you? You're just going to brush off all of my feelings because you're done for today?"

"I'm tired," Eren uttered in a breathy voice, resuming in lifting the covers to lie underneath them. "If you want to speak more about it, then we can talk all you want tomorrow."

"Eren," Levi started to say as the brunet continued to give him his back, "I don't want you to go to sleep being angry at me."

"I'm hurt, not mad. Now, goodnight, Levi."

"No, no, I won't go to bed knowing I hurt you like the dumbass that I am."

Exhaling a breath, Eren sat up suddenly, throwing the sheets off of his body forcefully and jumping off of the bed to approach Levi to get in his face. "Fine, now I'm angry. Tell me what it is that you so desperately want to tell me! I can't go to bed in peace with you whining like a fucking child, so hurry up and say it, Levi."

Levi stared up into saddened eyes only to forget what it was that he wanted to tell Eren. No matter how sorry Levi felt for the turmoil he and his parents had brought onto Eren, Levi could never find enough words to express just how apologetic he was for everything that happened since day one of meeting each other. Did Levi finally push Eren to the edge of the mountain, and now that Eren was standing here in front of him with tendrils of pain, anger, and resentment floating in those green eyes of his, could Levi get away with saying sorry? "Would it matter to you if I apologized on behalf of my parents and myself?"

"You tell me, Ackerman," replied Eren in a monotone voice, dull eyes staring down at him as if Levi was someone insignificant to him. "You were the one always to start everything, hoping that I would turn away and leave you alone. Now that you got what you wanted, now you want to take it back because you're sorry? Oh, so you weren't sorry before? It didn't matter if your words stung me, but it did matter when I defended myself and fought back. I'm not even surprised, and you know what? With the way things are turning out between us, I don't think you and I will ever be together at this rate.

"Sure, everything was fine for about an hour or two, but then your dad came into the picture, he talked shit about my parents, you defended me for a second, and then told me to shut up. Yeah, and then you both continued to fight while bringing your mother into the conversation. Okay, you still want us to get to know each other when we can't get along for not even a day without something fucking it up?"

Levi opened his mouth and then closed it when he realized that Eren was right, and whatever opportunity there was to finally get to know Eren and fall in love burned to crisps right before his eyes. Perhaps this wasn't the brightest idea Levi's had, but he honestly thought things were finally going to settle into place.

"See? You can't even disagree with me because you know that I'm right. Look," Eren sighed as he stepped away to sit on the corner of the bed. "I'm not angry at you at all, and before you protest against me, Levi, it's the truth. It may look as if I'm upset at you, but I'm not. I just want to go to sleep right now and hope that when I wake up in the morning, this would have ended up being a terrible nightmare. For now, let's just sleep our problems away, and in the morning, we can forget this ever happened."

"You mean you're going to forget me?" Levi asked in a small voice as he stood in front of Eren. Who had now gotten up to get under the covers once again.

But Eren's answer never came, and Levi, with a heavy heart, respected Eren's silence and made his way into the bathroom to clean himself up. That night, Levi wasn't able to fall asleep, no matter how many times he changed his position on the comfortable bed. Even with Eren so close to him, it still felt as if there was a great distance between the two of them, and at this point, Levi felt utterly lost.

That's what it was.

Levi had lost Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, nothing is ever happy when it's me who's writing.
> 
> Goodbye for now.
> 
> P.S. Please don't hate Levi. The poor kid is already going through so much. :(


End file.
